


"And they were roommates!"

by InPrisonForSparkling, Maxils



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), Angst, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Error is a cat., Error needs a hug, Error needs an air hug, Errorink - Freeform, Eventual Romance, GASP! BLUEBERRY CHILD YOU GO TO THE TIMEOUT CORNER-, Ink is an idiot, M/M, PSPSPSPSPS, Roommates, Snas - Freeform, Swearing, This is not up for debate., Weeb Cross, and it's really fun to collab actually, blue no-, blueberry. ink was not kidnapped. accept this., but that only starts in the third chapter, chapter 10 was cruel to maxils, does this count as an AU?, except no, fight scene owo, geno will appear later, i love how we're just adding new tags for each chapter., killer no-, lots of snases, lust ig, maxils would call them simps but ok, me the master at tagging, nightmare is chill, nightmare no-, not just a simp, ooooh side ships OwO, probably, reaper makes a cameo in chap 10, red in the dark sanses, slow burn maybe? idk, snases, the star sanses are idiots, the swearing is maxils, there's a perfectly logical explanation for stretch's alleged jackassness, this is a collab, tw swearing, wait there's a 7 hour difference between our timezones? omg, ya'll we're past 2000 hits
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-23
Updated: 2020-08-31
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:13:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 18,720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24878263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InPrisonForSparkling/pseuds/InPrisonForSparkling, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maxils/pseuds/Maxils
Summary: Error and Ink end up being roommates to keep an eye on each other, but end up being friends and, maybe, more.
Relationships: Blueberry/Red, Dream/Cross, Error & Ink, Error Sans/Ink Sans (Undertale), Error/Ink (Undertale), Killer/Nightmare, Lust/Horror, Reaper/Geno, Sans/Sans (Undertale)
Comments: 285
Kudos: 209
Collections: UTMV Multi-Chapter Works





	1. In Need Of A Change

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They didn't want to be alone.  
> They didn't want to be forgotten.  
> They wanted things to be different.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes from Maxils:  
> This originally started as a headcanon posted by Sparkles (is it okay if I call you that?) in a Discord server. We then joked around a bit and I brought up that it would make a good story, so we decided to make this into a story, and oh my god, I am loving this. This is very, very fun and I'm excited to see how it's going to turn out.
> 
> Notes from Sparkles:  
> Yep, this is very fun. I don't really have anything much to say-

In the multiverse, everything was business as usual. Error was destroying AUs, Ink was protecting them. That was the way it always went. Two opposing forces, fighting each other over what they each thought was right. It was how most stories typically went down. Good and evil, right and wrong. And no one was quite sure which was which. The Destroyer had his views that the AUs took up too much space in the multiverse, and that only the original was worthy to exist. The Protector was fighting for a more simple desire, the desire to stay alive, for without the AUs, he would cease to exist. It was a little complicated, seeing as the Protector couldn’t feel without his vials, and the Destroyer had closed himself off from everyone, trying to stop feeling. 

It’s the same old story - you always want what you don’t have.

You always want what you _can’t_ have.

Why was that so often the case? Why, Ink asked himself, was he alone, doomed to this lonely, soulless life? Why, Error asked himself, was _he_ stuck doing the same thing, over and over, just for Ink to rip apart his work? 

They didn’t want to be alone.

They didn’t want to be forgotten.

They wanted things to be different.

So, one day, Ink stopped fighting Error.

“Hey, buddy, look. Can we take a break for a couple minutes?” he said, panting slightly.

“Why?” the glitch asked in distrust. “So you can get the jump on me? End it once and for all?”

“No, of course not! You really think that low of me, huh? Like it or not, Error, you’re an AU too.”

“You think I don’t know that?” Error replied, before realizing what his nemesis meant, and falling silent. Ink smirked, and Error let out a resigned sigh. “So what do you want from me this time?”

“Can we at least _try_ to get along? For a couple of days at least?”

“Oh, days?” Error repeated. “I thought you were going to say minutes, or seconds, and not a period of time longer than twenty-four hours.” They had never managed to do that before. Not once had they gone twenty-four hours without getting into a fight, whether it was over AUs or just general bickering. Ink didn’t move. Error sighed. “...we can try, I guess. But how do you plan to do that?”

Oh. Ink hadn’t thought of that part.

“Uh…” he mumbled to stall for time. Error sighed again, louder this time.

“You don’t have any idea, do you, Squid?” he said with a straight face.

“Ahaha, nope!” Ink admitted with a nervous grin.

“Oh god, you’re so annoying,” Error groaned. “I bet that if you had a roommate, you’d drive them up the wall.”

“AHA!” Ink shouted all of a sudden. Error flinched at the sudden noise, causing Ink to gain an expression of guilt. “S-sorry.”

“‘Aha’, what, Ink?”

“Aha, I have an idea! What if we tried living together for a few days?”

“...that’s a terrible idea.” Ink pouted, before Error grinned with determination in his eyelights. “...Let’s try it.” Ink ran up to Error and hugged him. “I̸͎̝̭̘͚̣̻͂̽̊͗͠N̷͉̭̣̱̘̅͊͂̎̈́̈͘K̶̪̘̩͊͆ ̶̟̬̣͍̖̒̓͋ͅO̷̞͍͗̿̂H̴̹̳͙̼̏͛̄̅ ̶͇̝̹̐̑̈́̈́M̸̙̝͙̜̝̾̃ͅY̸̧͖̣͙̱̪̾ ̴̯͎̺̾̇̇̿͌́G̸̡͕̲̹͉̲̳̃̆̌͘O̴̲̲̐̈́D̸̬̝̘̱́̏͛̔̏͜ ̸̨̛̣̲̫̩̤̬́͑͂͊̂͘N̸̨͙͉̜̪̯̊̏͛̍͊͘Ö̵̫̺̞̙̞̃͛ ̴̬̹̞̰̽S̵̬̠̈́̈́̾̂͊T̷̖͇͙̐̅͌̌Ö̵̼̙̻͔̪́͐̄̊̈́͝P̴̮̣̆͆̆̽ ̸̫̠̺̝͔̟͛͑͊͠ͅḨ̶̨̨̧̘̩̌̃̒́̌͝Ù̸̹̿͛̑͌͘G̵̩͚̩̹͔͎̊̃̃G̴̜̬̙͒͐̈I̵̢̭̬͓̅̄͑͂̐͘N̵̝̎̽G̸̢̧̥̼͈̐̽̈̿́̍ ̵̰̄̏͒̏̏ͅḾ̸̟̱̳̅ͅE̴̢̲̊̔̑͠͝!̷̘̝̯̞̲́͂͆̎͜!̷̢̱̙̈́̍͂̿̎͝!̶͖͈̠͎̺͈͑̍̆̽̈́̈́͜” he screeched before crashing.

It took a moment for Ink to realize what happened. “Oops, right. Haphephobia.” He let go of the frantically screaming skeleton and waited a few minutes for the loading bar above the other’s head to fill up.

“God, Ink, at least warn me before you touch me!” Error hissed as he leaned away from Ink.

“Sorry, forgot.”

“You forget everything,” Error said sternly, but he was smiling. It had always been a comical part of Ink’s personality to him, albeit annoying at times, but comical nonetheless.

“Okay, so, where are we going to… live?” It was a genuine question, because Ink certainly didn’t have any ideas.

“Hmm. Good question. Well, wherever it is, you need a couple of rooms to yourself to clog up with random crap, because I don’t want to have to deal with your stuff.” 

“Well, uh, I could just store stuff in the Doodlesphere…” Ink trailed off. He twirled his scarf in one hand as he mentally plotted. No, the AU couldn’t be entirely empty, Ink wasn’t good with empty, so that put the anti-void out of the question… Maybe a genocide timeline of one AU? Despite the lack of inhabitants, those still tended to be pretty full...

“Ink? Hello?”

“Wha?” Ink asked, looking up. His train of thought had completely derailed and whatever he had just been thinking about vanished. “What were we talking about again?”

Error facepalmed before saying, “Where are we going to live, Ink?”

“Ohhhh, right. Yeah, uh, I have no idea,” Ink shrugged.

“This, coming from one of the most creative beings in the multiverse?” Error gasped sarcastically, and Ink could hear the glitch’s next words before they’d even escaped his teeth. “Oh, that’s right. You’re also one of the biggest airheads.”

“Hmm. Uh, maybe a genocide timeline?”

“NONONONONONONO.” Nope no never ever nuh uh no way. Genocide timelines were the last place Error wanted to go ever no matter the universe.

“Whoa, did I say something wrong?”

“W̶̦̋Ė̴̺ ̵͓̓A̵͎R̴͍E̸͎̕ ̸͎N̵̫͗O̵̡̍T̷̢̃̈́ ̵͕̪͆G̵̦̬̈́Ơ̶͚̘͊Ì̵̹̦͠N̷̡̦̓G̶͍̖ ̷͍͎̋T̴̻̄͜Ơ̵͍̠ ̴̺̪̐̃A̴͕̻̫̓͝ ̷̛̳̯͙̔̅ _G̴̩̋E̵̞̬͓͖̺̍̄̒̓̚Ṇ̸͇̼̳̣̜͉̊͋̈͂̆͠O̸͔̰̩̟̽̆̍̔͋̓_ C̷̰̍̅͠I̸͉̫̐Ḋ̴̞̫̩̑̑E̶̻̥̜̽̍͠ ̶̖̝̄̍T̶͚̆͠I̵̜̽̊M̵̜̖͑Ẻ̴͔̊L̶̰̑̊̕I̴̺̜̒̑̒N̵͕̈́͝Ę̸̡̋.̶͓͔̄̍͘” For some reason, Error seemed to put emphasis on the first two syllables of the word “genocide.”

“Uh… can I ask why?”

“ **N̴̖͔̫̮̯͆̌̏̽̂̅̂͘͜͜Ọ̴̡̪̖̩̅͌͗̽̌.̶̛̼͍͍̠͍̉̽̂̐͐̕** ” Error seemed firm in his denial to answer the question, so Ink decided to drop it.

“Oh… alright. It was just an idea.”

Error breathed to calm himself down. In, out. In, out.

“S-sorry for shouting like that. I just… there are… too many bad memories, okay?” 

Ink nodded understandingly. Most Sanses were highly uncomfortable visiting genocide timelines, and it seemed as though Error was no exception.

“What about… the anti-void?”

“Haha, no,” Ink deadpanned, his eyelights going dark. The sheer thought of being surrounded by that much… total _blank emptiness_ sent chills down his spine.

“Okay. So you don’t want emptiness, and I don’t want too much stuff or…” he trailed off. “So let’s try and meet somewhere in the middle. Maybe in Outertale somewhere?” Error didn’t know if Ink remembered that Error liked Outertale, and the idiot’s next words gave no indication.

“Ooh, yeah! That’s a good idea! I’ll paint a house, maybe?”

“Yeah, that sounds alright. Just don’t fill it up with stuff, Squid.”

“Don’t worry, I won’t clutter up the place too much. I know you like your space clean and roomy.”

Error sighed, smiling slightly. “Well, let’s give this thing a shot.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes from Maxils:  
> Oh boy. There's a 7 hour difference in the two authors' timezones, basically meaning that if I don't pull all-nighters, we'll have around maybe four or five hours that we can work together each day, in the morning for me, and that's if I _don't_ sleep until three in the afternoon.
> 
> Notes from Sparkles:  
> Indeed there is! Plus I have limited time to write because of my mom. But eh, it's working out so far :3


	2. Moving In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ink and Error move into their new house, and Error does a bit of exploring.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maxils Notes:  
> Chapter named by me. Also it's 4:37 AM.

Error was trying to figure out how to move everything of his to the new house. Sure, he didn’t have much, but how to move the stuff he _did_ have? Well, he could steal some boxes from some AU. Yeah, that’d work. He showed up at the house a couple of minutes later, carrying a box under his arm.

“Hey, Glitchy! You finally made it!” Ink said, smiling.

“I wasn’t _that_ slow, was I?” Error asked jokingly. He put the box on the ground and sat down.

“Maybe, maybe not…” Ink said playfully, leaning on the back of the couch.

“Oh, shut up, Squid.” 

“I caaaaan’t!” Ink drew the word out. Error raised an eyebrow, and Ink rolled his eyelights. “I don’t exactly remember how long you took.”

“Of course you don’t.”

“Keep in mind that I have the attention span of a two-year-old and the memory of a goldfish,” Ink reminded Error. Error snorted.

“At last, something we can agree on.” 

“Oh, come on!” Ink moaned.

“You’re the one who brought it up, Ink,” Error chuckled. Ink paused, then shrugged.

“You’re right, you’re right,” Ink said. It was a known fact that even Ink would admit. “Okay, let’s get this place set up.”

“Wait, we haven’t decided on the exact rules of this thing,” Error stopped him. Well, yeah, that would be in order… Ink would probably forget about it if they didn’t do it now.

“Alright, sure,” Ink nodded. “First off, how long?”

Error stopped for a moment. How long would he be able to stand Ink? An hour, maybe, a month was out of the question… “Seven days.”

“And no doing our respective jobs during that time,” Ink added with a nod. He wrote something down on his scarf.

“Okay, that seems reasonable. Another thing: You can’t clutter up my space, or places we both have to use, alright?”

“That’s fair. My stuff stays in my area,” he nodded, writing it down.

“Ink, do you have to use your scarf for that?”

“It’s convenient,” Ink argued, annoyance slipping into his tone. “A lot more convenient than pulling a notebook out of a pocket dimension every five seconds.”

“Okay, fine! I was just wondering, seriously…” Error said. “Now, is there anything else you want to add?”

“Hm… keep this a secret?” Ink shrugged. It was something he guessed that Error might want to do. After all, the Destroyer wasn’t exactly known for being all buddy-buddy with anyone, least of all Ink, and he probably wanted to keep his reputation that way.

“Yeah. Is that all?”

“Mhm,” Ink nodded, before remembering something else important. “Oh, and don’t touch my sketchbooks.”

“What, you think I’m like the sketchbook version of Death? That they’ll disintegrate if I touch them?”

Ink stammered, “N-no, I just don’t want you looking through stuff I haven’t finished.” Yeah, that sounded believable.

Error raised an eyebrow, but appeared to accept Ink’s explanation. “Alright. Are we done?”

“Yeah.” Ink couldn’t think of anything else to add.

“Okay. _Now_ we can get the place ready,” Error nodded.

Ink began thinking of things to do with the place. “Hmm…”

While Ink thought, Error decided to do a bit of exploring of the house. The room they were in now would probably end up being the living room. The walls were painted a light blue color that Error actually didn’t mind. He’d have preferred white, but he knew how Ink felt about that. The ground was a soft grey carpet that would probably end up getting a bunch of stains in it, but for now, it was acceptable. The couch that Ink was currently on was a sleek black leather couch.

Error moved into the kitchen to see that it was very similar to the skelebros’ kitchen. One notable difference was that the sink was nowhere near as extreme, probably because _nobody needed a sink that high._ Either way, the layout was pretty much the same as the skelebros’. Everything was similarly colored to the skelebros’ kitchen, leading Error to believe that Ink had decided to do the kitchen later, possibly with Error’s consultation. He noticed a doorway near the fridge and went through it to find a pitch black room. _God, don’t let this be a dog shrine room or something..._

Error could not see a thing in this room beyond where the light from the kitchen led, so he turned to look for a light switch. He found one quickly and flipped it up, and the lights revealed sticky notes. Stick notes _everywhere._ There were sticky notes far as he could see - not far, but the couple meters surrounding him were practically _drowning_ in sticky notes. All over the floor, the walls, there were even some on the roof, how had the squid even managed to reach that high?! Had he enlisted Nightmare’s help or something?! The more likely explanation, Error realized as he put his glasses on, was that Ink had used the ladder in the corner of the room and oh, the beige back wall didn’t have as many sticky notes. Another thing Error realized was that most of the sticky notes were in large clumps. He got a closer look at one clump and came to the conclusion that Ink had been using sticky notes as blueprints. The cluster he was looking at right now was a plan of the main floor, which they were currently on. Indeed, Ink had written “figure out what to do with the kitchen later” on the kitchen part, in actually really neat handwriting. This room was apparently going to be the dining room once Ink finished everything else.

Also among the sticky notes were many smaller notes, like “remember to add heating, electricity and plumbing,” which Error was shocked to realize that Ink had actually done at least two of, “keep Error’s spaces empty,” “remember to update kitchen” many times, and “stop using the dining room for sticky notes and make an actual sticky note room,” which Ink had clearly forgotten all about. Chuckling, he decided to pick that one up as he moved to a different part of the room, one with a lot of the “update the kitchen’ sticky notes. Error brushed aside a few sticky notes, revealing a dark wooden floor.

Well, that was fun, but now Error had to remind Ink that that room existed. He reentered the living room to see Ink drawing in a sketchbook. “Hm, maybe that could go there…” he muttered, before changing his mind. “No, it would be better in-”

“You used the dining room for sticky notes,” Error said, snapping Ink out of his doodling.

“What? Oh, yeah, that,” Ink nodded, his eyelights a blue plus sign and a green diamond. “Exactly how many were in there?”

“Enough that I had to move a large clump of ‘update kitchen’ notes just to see the floor, and I could only see that the walls were beige because the back wall had just barely enough for me to see it,” Error laughed. “Did you make that sticky note room, by the way?”

“The what?”

“The sticky note room, detailed on this little neon pink sticky note right here.” The black-boned skeleton held up the sticky note that was on his hand.

Ink fell silent as his jaw dropped. The silence lasted a good five seconds before he said, “I forgot to make the sticky note room.”

That answered that question.

“So, where do you plan to put the sticky notes?” Error asked. “I didn’t exactly bother looking at your sticky note blueprints for long.”

“To answer _that,_ ” Ink commented, “I would need to see the aforementioned sticky note blueprints.” The artist put down his sketchbook and got up from the couch. “Let’s go!” Ink cheered, running past Error and into the future dining room.

He was so excited to start living with Error!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maxils Notes:  
> I wrote over 300 words about sticky notes.  
> A QUARTER OF THE CHAPTER WAS ABOUT STICKY NOTES.  
> I am clearly amazing at this.  
> oh bonus points if you can guess why ink doesn't want error to see his stuff. all possibilities are welcome.
> 
> Sparkles' Notes:  
> Ink apparently really likes sticky notes.


	3. Pizza Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ink and Error encounter a problem before sharing their stories about how Blueberry doesn't support their eating habits. Error learns something surprising.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sparkles' Notes:  
> This was a fun chapter! I think we finished this in one day, so that's cool :3  
> Maxils Notes:  
> Yep, we finished it between 4:30 am and 9:15ish am my time. Also!  
> [pizza time](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lpvT-Fciu-4)

It didn’t take them long to realize that the stove would be utterly useless.

“What do you mean, you can’t cook?!” Error hissed. “It can’t be that hard to use a stove!”

“Well, I can’t remember how!” Ink shrugged with a halfhearted (or no-hearted, as the case may be) chuckle. He sat on the still-unchanged countertop. “Last time I tried to use a stove, I nearly burned down an entire AU.”

Error decided to take a guess. “Which AU, Underswap?”

Ink averted the glitch’s gaze, telling him all he needed to know.

“How pissed was Blueberry?” Error asked with a grin.

“Very.”

“Ah. Well, I kinda know how to cook, I just… haven’t done it in a while…” He couldn’t remember the last time he actually cooked something. The memories could have been lost in a crash, or it could have just been when he...

He shook away the thought.

“Oh. Well. That’s a problem.”

“I could just. Steal a cookbook.”

“Well, the thing is…” Ink began, fiddling with his vials, “I was sorta… reading from one when I nearly fried Underswap? Ahaha…”

“Oh my god.” Error shook his head. “You’re hopeless.”

“Hopeless about what?” Ink had lost what they were talking about.

“O̸̱͖͈͖̤͍̥͌́̈́̈̀͝͠H̷̢̧̗͇̱̙͉̫͂͐͑͆̒͒̑͌ ̸̹̀̏̔̂̔͋̂̽͒M̴̛̖̃̾̌̆͐͝Ÿ̵̢̥̼́ ̷̧̧̤̦̝͕̣̊̇̍G̶̣͔̈͌͂͂̈͘͝O̶͖̜͎̥̥̠̺̘͉̎̑D̷͚͙̲̪̻͐̅͗̏̽̕.̵̲͙̠̺͖͕͗͛.”

“Did I... say something wrong?” Ink asked. The previous five minutes had basically just flown out of his head. He vaguely remembered something about a cookbook...

“No, it’s just…” Error sighed. “Sorry, this is going to be a long week. We were talking about how you can’t cook?”

“Oh. Yeah, sorry,” Ink said, pulling out a marker and writing down a note on his scarf.  _ Try not to irritate Error too much. _ “What about you?”

“I basically can’t cook either,” Error explained again, sighing. Now was one of the times where the squid’s memory was more irritating than annoying. “Anyways, that basically means that we need to figure out this whole food situation.”

Ink scribbled down more notes. “Got it. Well, sometimes Blueberry makes me tacos, and other times I order pizza in a random AU and then go to pick it up…”

“Blueberry would probably ask too many questions about who they’re for. Apart from you, I mean.”

“Yeah, let’s get pizza,” Ink decided. “What do you like on yours?”

“Uh, I don’t know… just plain pizza, I guess.”

“So, cheese? How much will you eat?”

Error replied, “I dunno… Probably the whole thing and the box.”

“The box.”

In response, Error stuck his tongues out at Ink.

Ink needed a moment to process this information. “...You have,” Ink asked, “how many tongues?”

Error shrugged, pulling his tongues back in. “I honestly don’t know.”

Ink immediately proceeded to write “Error has yes tongues, draw this” onto his scarf.

“What did you write?” Error asked. 

“Uhhhh, nothing.” Ink didn’t want to give Error a reason to peek at his drawings. “But the fact that you have that many tongues is weird but completely awesome at the exact same time.”

“Thanks, I think?” Error had no idea if that was a compliment.

“Honestly I don’t know whether it was a compliment either,” Ink replied based on what Error’s confused expression and tone of voice were telling him.

“Well, let’s order some pizza, then.”

“Okay.” Ink pulled out a phone from a pocket dimension. He scrolled through the contacts until he found one saying “pizza hut us”. It stood for “Pizza Hut Underswap.” He pressed the call button.

“Pizza Hut, can I take your order?” the employee spoke.

“Hey, I’ll get a large cheese pizza and a large... pepperoni,” Ink decided. “I’ll be picking up.”

After confirming the order, he hung up.

“Large?” Error questioned. Ink was going to eat an entire large pizza by himself?

“No soul means a greater need for food and sleep,” Ink explained quickly.

“...Interesting.”

“Sorry, but why again will you eat the  _ box _ as well?”

“I have the ability to ingest anything, including but not limited to cardboard, paper, chocolate wrappers…” The glitchy skeleton laughed as he remembered Blueberry’s reaction to the last one. “That one got me a scolding from Blueberry,” he added as he wiped a faux tear from his eye. He leaned on the counter.

“How, exactly?” Ink inquired.

Error shrugged with one arm. “I dunno, something about the wrappers not being healthy.”

“Pff-ha-ha! Yeah, that sounds like him. He  _ insists _ drinking paint is bad for me.”

“Does he know why you need it?”

Ink’s expression became cold. “No. I haven’t told him.”

Error was shocked by the sudden revelation. Blueberry was one of Ink’s closest friends, aside from Dream, so Ink probably would have told one of them. “What about Dream?”

“Dream figured it out on his own,” Ink shrugged. He thought for a moment. “If my terrible memory serves me correctly, it didn’t really take that long for him to do so. He was pretty mad after he found out that I only protect AUs out of self preservation, but he forgave me.” Ink smiled at the end, but the destroyer could see right through the smile. Ink seemed to notice, because he continued, “It stung, at first, but he couldn’t really stay mad at me for long. After all, you can’t blame me for not having a soul!” The words remained empty, as empty as the void where Ink’s soul would normally be.

Error sighed. “I suppose I can’t. Let’s stop talking about this.”

“...Good idea,” Ink nodded, before remembering something else. “Oh, right, pizza. I should probably go get that, shouldn’t I?”

“Yeah, you should,” Error nodded.

“Alright. I’ll be back in a few minutes. See you then!” Ink said, creating a portal through his paint on the ground and jumping through.

Error sighed as he fell backwards onto the kitchen countertop, then quickly jumped up. “Nightmare’s meeting! Dammit.” He wrote a note for Ink and left it on the counter.

_ Just remembered I have to go to Nightmare’s meeting. Apparently our memories both suck. I’ll be back as soon as I can. Just leave the pizza wherever, this house isn’t very big, I’ll find it. Also let’s just say that shit involving Dream and Nightmare doesn’t count. _

_ Error _

He opened a glitchy portal to Nightmare’s castle and went through, leaving the house temporarily empty.

A few minutes later, Ink came back to the house to find it empty. He noticed the note on the counter and read it. “Ah. I’ll just leave his pizza here.” He then brought his own pizza to the couch and turned on the TV that had been implemented since Ink and Error had decided on the rules. He decided to turn the channel to Undernovela and call it a day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sparkles' Notes:  
> yeah I can't wait for Error to have to talk to his "friends".  
> Maxils Notes:  
> oh wow, i made it two chapters in an undertale au fic without swearing, that's a new record for me! how do i always end up swearing in things?  
> also i'm the one who's made all the current chapter titles


	4. Meetings and Yeetings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Error attends the meeting at Nightmare's castle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maxils Notes:  
> We're introduced to a side ship here. These aren't the main focus of the story, but they will be present throughout. I also couldn't think of a better title.

“Sorry I’m late, everyone. I was… busy,” Error said as he walked into the room of psychopaths and murderers. Everyone turned to look at the glitch, with various finallys and where were yous thrown into the mix.

“Doing what, exactly?” Nightmare said lazily from his throne.

_ Crap, _ Error thought,  _ I didn’t come up with an excuse! CRAP, NIGHTMARE CAN TELL WHEN I’M LYING. _

“Lost track of time,” he decided. Technically, it wasn’t a lie. He  _ had _ lost track of time.

Nightmare raised an eyebrow, but appeared to accept Error’s explanation. “Alright, then. Well. Let’s get started.”

Killer came into the room with a tray of cookies. Horror stared at them hungrily.

“They’re too hot right now, Horror,” Killer informed him. “Give them a few minutes to cool down.”

“But I’m hungryyyy!” Horror moaned sadly, making puppy dog eyes at Killer.

“What flavor?” Dust asked from a random corner of the room.

_ Why are these guys my friends? _ Error asked himself.

“Chocolate,” Killer replied.

Instantly, strings shot from Error’s hand to grab one of the cookies and he ate it as fast as he could.

“...I should have seen that coming,” Killer sighed. “You steal our chocolate constantl-”

“Objection,” Error interrupted. “I steal Abomination 13’s chocolate constantly, not yours.”

“...You still haven’t told us who that is,” Red said. The abomination had joined the Dark Sanses only recently, so even if Error had let it slip at one point, he wouldn’t know.

“And I never will,” Error winked. There were basically only two people who actually knew who Abomination 13 was, and those people were Blueberry and Ink. Error planned to keep it that way.

“Fine, whatever. Keep your mysteries,” Dust resolved.

Nightmare pinched the bridge of his nose. “Can we not forget what we’re here for?”

Horror shrugged. “Sorry, already did.”

“Same,” Error added.

“Idiots,” Killer grumbled. “You’re both idiots. You know what, Dust and Red are also idiots.”

“Thank you, Killer. Yes, I’m not sure why I hired any of you.” Nightmare shook his head.

“Hired?” Red said. “Don’t you mean  _ forced to join  _ your crazy group?”

“Nobody ever forced you to join,” Nightmare retorted with a sigh. “You had the option not to.”

“Uh. Well. You’re intimidating, and I kinda assumed something would happen to me if I didn’t join?” Red said in a small voice.

“Please, I’m cruel but I have honor.”

“...oh.”

“Can I leave yet?” said Error, checking his non-existent nails. He was starting to get bored, and his pizza was probably getting cold by now.

“No,” Killer almost shouted, rushing up to Error and holding a knife to his throat. “You can stay to discuss what is being discussed.” Glitches filled up Error’s eyes from the sudden shock.

“And what  _ is _ ‘being discussed’?” Error asked, attempting to ignore the fact that a knife was literally grazing his throat right now. “The fact that because of you, I will probably be blind until this damn meeting is over?” The knife pressed slightly deeper. “O̷̫͋k̶̭̕á̷̟ỷ̴̻,̸̹̇ ̸͇̈ȏ̸̥k̴̭͋á̵̬ÿ̷̰,̶̪̋ ̵̬̋I̴̞̽'̷̗̑l̷̬͐ḻ̶̐ ̶͕͊s̷̢͆ṫ̵̢a̴͕y̶͎̾,̵̯͛ ̴̰͝y̷̹̆o̴͍͂ų̵͝ ̵̃͜p̴̭̍ş̴͝ỵ̵̎ċ̵̙h̴̼̓ȍ̸̯p̴͎͝a̴̧̕t̸͇̄ḥ̸͂!̵̋͜”

Error heard Nightmare stand up, and felt the pressure on his throat be alleviated by a pressure that was on his chest.

“Alright, break it up, you two,” Nightmare ordered. “We have something important to discuss tonight.”

“For the love of God, what is it?!” Horror screeched furiously. “I’m bored  _ and _ hungry!”

The glitches began to clear from Error’s eyes in time to barely see Nightmare go back to his throne. “As I’m sure some of you have heard, there has been a certain  _ rumor _ floating around.” He pronounced the word rumor with a tone of disgust.  _ Wait, what rumor? _

“...Nnno,” Red replied. “Care to fill me in?”

“Same here,” Error added, raising his hand. He caught a glimpse of Killer silently digging a knife into the ground.

Nightmare remained silent as well, and avoided eye contact. The only sound that came from the goopy skeleton was a low hum.

“The so-called ‘rumor,’” Dust spoke up, “is that they’re together.” He pointed at Killer and Nightmare. “Of course, it’s not really just a rumor…”

“SHUT UP!” Killer screeched, launching himself at Dust. Error jumped back as Killer whooshed past him. However, Killer was stopped by a sudden tentacle.

Nightmare, who was blushing heavily, muttered something under his breath as he took two cookies from the plate. He used a tentacle to give one to Killer while he took a bite of the other.

“What was that?” Horror piped up.

Nightmare glared at him. “Dust is correct,” he reconciled begrudgingly. “The rumors... aren’t exactly the least accurate.”

“Wait, you two are-” Red started, but was quickly met with a knife pointing at his chest.

“Tell no one,” Killer threatened. Red nodded, and Killer drew back the knife slowly.

“Killer, no,” Nightmare sighed. He got out of the throne again and grabbed Killer in a tentacle. “Normally, I’d thank you for this negativity, but we need to come to a solution on how to get people to not spread the rumor, and nobody thinks logically with a knife almost murdering them.”

“Okay,” Killer sighed. “Sorry, Red, Dust and Error.”

“It’s cool,” Dust shrugged. “Not like I don’t almost die every day already.”

“Worse shit’s happened in Underfell,” Red added with a nod. “What you did is nothin’.”

“You dug your knife into my throat slightly,” Error replied, “but in hindsight, my ass sorta deserved it.” Error traced a finger along where the knife had been and held it out in front of him. “Judging by that, I’d say there’s not really any blood, so we’re good.”

“Now that that’s settled,” Nightmare growled, “we can talk about the main problem here.”

“Lemme guess,” Horror interrupted. “The Star Shits?”

“Yes, my brother and the rest of those idiots,” Nightmare said.

Error thought for a moment before coming up with part of a solution. “Well, I could talk to Ink…”

Nightmare shook his head. “Maybe, but Ink’s not the big problem.” He sighed, before adding, “Dream and  _ Cross _ are.” He spat out both names bitterly, but Cross had far more bitterness behind it. It made sense; Cross had betrayed Nightmare for Dream.

“What’s Fluffy got to do with it?” Red asked, immediately drawing a snicker out of Error.

“The problem is,” Dust explained, “he hates us. Especially Nightmare.”

“And Dream’s dictionary may lack the term ill will, but trust me when I say that he talks about me every opportunity he gets,” Nightmare groaned. “It’s never against me, but he has a tendency to let other people know if someone’s having a good day or a bad day or something. This, I highly doubt he’ll stay quiet about for long.”

“Let’s just kill them,” Killer said as if it was the obvious choice.

“Here here!” Horror grinned sadistically.

“Yeah, I’m down for that.” Dust said, smiling and playing with one of his bone attacks.

Nightmare let out a sigh. “It’s not that simple,” he spoke. “If it were, we wouldn’t have to deal with Dream in the first place. It’s not that he’s immortal…” Nightmare turned to Killer. “If he dies, I die, too.”

Killer opened his mouth as if about to say something, then closed it again. “...oh.”

“Bitch, this is why you order us not to kill Dream?” Dust asked Nightmare. “Why didn’t you tell us this before?”

“If I’m honest, I was afraid you’d backstab me. But that doesn’t matter.”

“Well, we can kill Fluffy, right?” Red said. This time, Error didn’t try to suppress the laugh. “What, Glitch Bitch?”

“OH MY GOD, that’s hilarious!” Error wheezed. “I’m sorry, but… Fluffy? Glitch Bitch? Hahaha!”

“Anyways, the fluffy asshole can die, right?” Red asked, glaring at Error.

“Hm, yes, Cross dying will not directly make me die,” Nightmare nodded.

Error slowed his laughing to a halt to give a rational idea. “Maybe let’s just try blackmail.”

“What do you mean?” Horror asked Error.

“Find something out that we can use against them.”

“Or skelenap Cross, get Dream to come over and force both of them to stay shut about Killer and Nightmare,” Dust proposed.

There was a moment of silence where nobody replied to the idea, but Nightmare broke it. “That… could actually work.”

Error remembered his pizza. “Okay, cool, can I go now?”

“What’s the rush?” Red asked. “Do you have a girlfriend?”

“Please, as if I’d get with any pathetic abomination.”

“Well, what is it then?” Nightmare inquired.

“I have…" Error paused for a moment. Should he just tell them about the situation? Not the part about Ink, of course... "I have a roommate. He got me pizza and it’s probably getting cold so I’m leaving.”

“A roommate?” Dust asked.

“Yes, conversation over, bye,” he said as he opened up a portal to the anti-void so nobody could see exactly where he was going. Once he was through, he opened up another portal to the house and went through.

He was met with the sounds of Undernovela and decided to check it out. He put on his glasses to see Ink sleeping on the couch, his arm hanging over the side. There was an empty pizza box on the end of the couch where Ink’s head wasn’t, and the TV was still running.

Error located the remote and turned the TV off, proceeding to go into the kitchen to find his pizza. It was there, on the counter. He grabbed the box with one of his tongues and consumed it whole before going back, throwing a random blanket on Ink and lying on the floor. He was tired and didn’t have the mental energy to interact with anyone else today. He closed his eyes and quickly fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maxils Notes:  
> Tada, it's Nightkiller! Also, yes, this is a thing where Cross betrayed Nightmare for Dream. Also, I call Nightmare's gang the Dark Sanses.  
> ...Maybe I could write something on _why_ Red joined the Dark Sanses...


	5. Tacos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Error and Ink wake up, have a slightly passive-aggressive chat about puppets, and the Star Sanses are childish idiots.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sparkles' Notes:  
> Wow, this was a fun one to write. I wrote around 300 words about _puppets _. (REVENGE.)__  
>  Maxils Notes:  
> CUZ BABY TONIGHT THE CREEPERS TRYNA STEAL ALL OUR STUFF AGAIN

The next morning, Ink woke up before Error.

He sat up and yawned, wondering where the blanket that was on him had come from. He had one guess. “Error- oh. He’s asleep.” He got off the couch, crouched down next to Error and poked him as if he was a dead bird or something.

Error shot awake. “Ẅ̶̮H̵͇͈͚̯̒́͗̏A̴̜̖̿̎̿T̶̖͖̙̖̿̈́̓͘ ̵̗̹̝̥͂̌T̴͖̯͈̦̈́̇̑̕Ȟ̷̜̦͖͉̆͘͝E̸͈͌͑̈́̇ ̶̒̔̍͜Ḧ̶̳̟̥E̸̡̳̗̺̐̊Ļ̷͑L̸̨͌̐̃͠,̵̱̻̅̄͌͑ ̸̝̰̐͌́S̷͓̝̈́͑Q̸̠̘͈̝͋̌͘Ú̶̡͌͠I̸͓̞̣̐D̶̖̻̼̞͑͗̇̚?̸̜̯͔̠̈́̊!̴͈͆̄ ̶͖̠͙̆̂̾̀Y̵̩͗̚͝O̸͍̹͛͒̈́͝Ů̴̹̝̲ ̴̠̻͎̝͊̔Ķ̶̍N̵̜͍̬̠̽̉͋͝O̴̡͓̫͎̔́W̸̥̩̥͙̒̾̄͌ ̷̬̥̖̅̊I̷̛͉͝'̷̛̤͎̝̎͒M̵̘̟͒̅̐͜͝ ̷̮̒̄͘ͅH̶͇̤͌Ã̸̜ͅṔ̴̧̱̭̑̃͠H̵̬͉͜Ē̴̙̤̈́P̸͍̤͆H̷̠̊Ö̴̫B̸̙̱̲́͑̍͝Ỉ̶̧̨̹̦̓̑͂C̴̺͙̥͐̈͝!̶̛̟͔̈!̵̻̤͖̟̿͌!̶̖̐̍̾̾” he screamed.

“Wait, oh right, sorry,” Ink apologized. He had, once again, completely forgotten about the other’s fear of touch.

“Ugh, well, whatever, I’m awake now,” Error muttered. “Don’t you have paints to take or something?”

“Oh, yeah,” Ink nodded. “Paints.” He pulled the vials out of his sash systematically and drank some of the paint inside each one. “They take a couple minutes to kick in.”

“Alright.” Error wasn’t really paying attention. He was busy playing with one of his puppets.

Ink didn’t really notice the puppet. Well, he noticed it, but didn’t really pay any attention to it. “So, did you get me the blanket?” he asked.

“Huh? Oh. Yeah, I did.”

“Thanks,” Ink replied. After a moment, he remembered why he’d fallen asleep on the couch. “Oh, yeah, I thought we could watch Undernovela together, but I fell asleep. By the way, how was your meeting?”

“Killer almost murdered half of us, and there’s apparently a rumor spreading about Nightmare and Killer, but whatever.” He paused, then added: “Oh, and Red called me Glitch Bitch and Cross Fluffy.”

“Pff-ha-ha! That’s funny,” Ink smiled. “Let’s just hope that Cross doesn’t find out, or Red is gonna be dead this time.”

“Wait, you mean… Cross has been called Fluffy before?”

“Yeah,” Ink nodded. He vaguely remembered it from when he was travelling with Classic. “Cross was pissed. He almost  _ did _ kill Red.”

“Damn, was this a few minutes before I dragged you into my anti-void? Probably was,” Error laughed. He did remember that he’d grabbed Ink from Underfell. “I should have done it sooner.”

“I’m still not entirely sure how we got out of that mess,” Ink chuckled, smiling slightly. “Not sure how  _ I _ got out of it.”

“Yeah,  _ hah _ ,” the black-boned skeleton said sarcastically, glaring at Ink. “Anyways, what time is it?”

“Depends,” Ink shrugged.

“...What?”

“Time is weird. Some AUs move faster than others, some slower.” Ink looked at his scarf. “Outertale functions at the same speed as classic Undertale, which basically means that whatever time it is in Undertale, that’s what it is here.”

“...How do you remember this, but not my haphephobia?”

Ink thought for a moment. “What was the ‘this’ in that question?”

“That Outertale has the same time as classic Undertale?”

“Scarf,” Ink said flatly.

“T̶̛͚̬̀́̆H̸̤̻̄̽Ę̴̡̭̤͛̿͠N̸̰̗̳͋͠ ̵̬͇̣̉͌̚C̷̘̙̬͕A̴̡̞̼̫͒̈́N̴̡͓̦͑͛̿ ̵̧̗͙̔Y̵̩̿̎͝ͅǪ̷̝̗͐̏̓̊U̵̼͊̉̊͝ _ ̸̮̞͛͆͜͜͠P̵̮̹̽̈L̶̩̥̗͜͝E̵͈̤̮͋Ä̸̧́Ś̸̨̟́͊̚E̷̛͙͕̳͕̊̈́ _ ̵̓̀͒͝ͅW̶̦̹̑̈́͗͜ͅR̸̢̛̦͚̕İ̶̼͔T̶̘͊E̵͔̎̂̊ ̷̹̞̱͂̏D̸̦̯̰͂͋̑̄O̸̬͝Ẇ̸̭̪̙̚N̷̢͖̰̽͗ ̸̹̖̏̃̔T̶̳̓H̵̨̧̼̥̆̓A̷̯͚̪͋T̴͈͇̞̝̈́̒̚ ̵̡̿̋͘Ĭ̶͕̈́͆͋ ̵̨̤͌̆Ḧ̴̯̫́̈́Ä̵̫͇V̶̯̤́̚Ë̴͍͉́̌̓̂ ̴̹̥͍̊͛͐Ḫ̵͉̞͑̇̆͘A̴̖͊̈P̷̛͎̬͂̄̈́Ḫ̸̡̖͌̄̕Ẻ̵̬̀͝P̷̥͕̍H̶̱͉͆̓͗̈Ỏ̷̺̹͇̋̾̆B̸̨̿̚I̴̱͆͛̐̒A̴̤̖̔͝͝?̴̤̘̑!̶͕̽”

“Yeah, that’s… probably a good idea.” Ink took out a sharpie and wrote down the note on his scarf. “How do you spell haphephobia?”

Error spelled it for him, still playing with the puppet. After writing down haphephobia, Ink took a moment to observe it.

“Hey, is that me?” he asked. “It’s really good!”

“Uh, yeah, actually. It is you. Um… thanks, I guess?” Error replied, a little flustered from the compliment. He didn’t exactly get those often, so it was nice.

“You even made a little Broomie!” Ink grinned. “And my vials!”

“I… yeah.” Error blushed slightly.

“But it’s so good! How didn’t I know you made things like this?”

“Uh… I don’t know? I guess normally we just don’t talk when we’re not fighting,” Error shrugged. “Like, the only reason I know what your vials are for is because I’ve seen what happens when you drink them, and the only reason I know you’re soulless is because I tried to take control of your nonexistent soul once.”

“Ah, yes, I remember... But do you make anything else?” Ink asked enthusiastically. He was actually getting in a real conversation with Error!

“Eh, not really. Most of what I eat, I just steal from Abomination 13, and I don’t exactly take requests.”

“Do you have any other puppets?”

Error smiled mischievously. He pulled on a string hanging from the ceiling and what looked like at least a hundred puppets, each of a Sans from a different AU, dropped down. “Yes,” he grinned. He moved two particular puppets closer. “Sans Classic and Sans Abomination Number 13 are two of the oldest.”

Ink stared at the array of puppets. They were very obviously well-made, and they’d taken a lot of time and effort. They were also very accurate. He knew the people they were based off of, and Error had probably taken a lot of time to getting the details right. “Oh! Is that Blueberry?” Ink inquired, pointing at one of the puppets.

“Yep. That one didn’t actually take that long,” Error said, pulling that puppet towards him.

“Oh, why?”

“Well, he was right in the anti-void with me,” Error reminded Ink.

“...ah.” Ink paused for a moment, then blinked. “Oh my stars, I need to go to that meeting!”

“Oh, your friends, huh? Well, don’t let me stop you. And… uh... make sure Cross stays safe.”

“Huh? What do you mean? And why Cross?” Ink asked. It wasn’t like Error to show concern for anyone, especially the Star Sanses.

“Oh, I just have this feeling something might… happen. Just be careful, alright?” Error smiled slightly, then pulled on the string again. Ink watched as the puppets were pulled back up. “Go on, you have to leave, don’t you?”

“Uh… Yeah. Alright. Bye, Error!” Ink grabbed Broomie and made a puddle of paint on the ground, jumping through. He tried to figure out why Error told him to keep Cross safe. He’d seemed secretive somehow, like he was telling Ink something he wasn’t meant to. Well, Ink couldn’t think about that now. He had some friends to meet.

“Ink! How are you?” Blueberry asked enthusiastically. “I made tacos!”

“Hah, thanks, Blue! I haven’t eaten breakfast yet,” Ink thanked the shorter skeleton.

“I thought you wouldn’t have,” Blueberry replied with a gap-toothed grin. “Dream was hungry too.” He pointed at Dream, who was trying to stuff multiple tacos in his mouth at once. Cross was cheering him on.

“What are they doing?”

“Something stupid,” Blueberry laughed. “Cross challenged Dream to a competition to see who could fit the most tacos in their mouth at once.”

“And Dream… accepted the challenge?”

“Yeah, he’s been a lot less… how do I say it… mature lately. I think Cross’ attitude is rubbing off on him.”

“Well, he does spend a lot of time with Cross…” Ink hummed. “Then again, all of us can be pretty immature at times.”

“You’re right, mweh-heh-heh! Well, are you gonna have a taco or not?”

Ink nodded and grabbed a taco from the plate.

“Enjoy!” Blueberry smiled at him, then walked over to Dream and Cross. “Are you two sure you’re okay?”

Dream gave a thumbs up with his right hand as he attempted to fit another taco into his mouth with the left. Somehow, he managed it. Ink counted six tacos.

Cross put his hands up. “I give up, you’re too powerful.”

Dream held the tacos in his mouth and began consuming. Within a minute, all the tacos were gone.

“HAHA!” Dream laughed triumphantly, throwing his fists in the air.

Blueberry walked back over to Ink.

“I… see what you mean,” Ink chuckled. “Did I miss Cross doing it?”

“Unfortunately yes,” Blue nodded with a smile. “He got five into his mouth.”

“I see.”

“You didn’t.”

“True,” Ink conceded.

“So where were you? Did you just forget again, or…?” Blueberry asked.

“I slept late,” Ink replied. It was true; he  _ had _ slept late. He (surprisingly) remembered that he wasn’t supposed to tell anyone about him and Error being roommates.

Blueberry shrugged. “Alright.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sparkles' Notes:  
> Yeah the Star Sanses are ridiculous. Also: Error's trying to help, he is, but Nootnoot will kill him if he gives any *real* hints.  
> Maxils Notes:  
> here's my personal height chart hc thing  
> Blue < Dream < Noot < Ink < Classic, Killer, Dust, Horror < Red < Error < Cross


	6. FBI OPEN UP-

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Star Sanses start their meeting, but are rudely interrupted by an angsty octopus. Ink acts suspicious. Blue says the fuck word.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maxils Notes:  
> Good morning. Today, I noticed that we've been mentioning eyebrows since Moving In. Fun.  
> Sparkles' Notes:  
> Indeed. Are the Sanses even really skeletons anymore...?

“OKAY, can we please actually do the meeting now?” Blueberry called. It normally didn’t take this long for a meeting to start, but with Ink being late and Cross and Dream’s little competition, it was later than expected.

“Oh, yes,” Dream nodded. “Ahem…” He paused for a moment, as if to try to remember what the meeting had been about. “There’s been a significant rise in activity from the Dark Sanses and Error lately, and we need to figure out why.”

Ink knew exactly what the reason for the rise in activity from Error was. He’d decided to get as much work done as possible before they moved in together for the week. Regardless, Ink still had to think up an excuse.

“Any ideas on what the reason might be?” Dream asked.

“Oh, well, you know Error,” Ink spoke. “He does whatever he wants. Sometimes he’ll go a month without destroying, and other times, he’ll attack fifty universes in a single day.” He’d actually done that, more than once. Ink had kept count on those days. It made his life a living hell when Error chose to do that.

“Valid,” Blueberry nodded.

“Still doesn’t explain Nightmare…” Cross added with a growl. If Dream had noticed, he didn’t mention anything.

“Well,” Blueberry replied, “the internet… may have an explanation for that.” He pulled out his phone. “Now, you see, there’s a certain… rumor going around.”

“Rumor about what?” Ink questioned. What kind of rumor could be causing the Dark Sanses to be more active than normal?

Blueberry hesitated for a moment. “I’m not saying that I believe this rumor, because I don’t, but… basically, people are saying that Killer and Nightmare are together.”

Dream nodded slowly. His face seemed stuck between a smile and a frown. “Interesting.”

“So, your brother is throwing a hissy fit over a story someone made up?” Ink asked.

“If he got into a relationship, it was after I quit,” Cross spoke.

“Well,” Dream said, “regardless of whether the rumors are true or not, until they’re confirmed, they’re only rumors and we shouldn’t spread them. There are two ways that this rumor could go: people see it as a weakness on Nightmare’s part, or people see it as Nightmare will probably obliterate them if they try to hurt Killer or vice versa.”

“Or the third way, where they’re indifferent or happy for them,” Blueberry added, with a quick glance towards Dream.

“Or the fourth, yanderes,” Cross piped up excitedly. “Yanderes could try to steal Nightmare or Killer for themselves. Unless one of them is a yandere, in which case if anyone tried to flirt with the other whichever one is a yandere would straight up murder them-”

“Okay, that’s enough ranting,” Ink stopped Cross. “Now, what were we talking about?”

“Nightmare and Killer,” Dream replied instantly. “Now, there’s a very simple way to deconfirm the rumor, and that’s-”

“You?” Ink interrupted. “You can sense others’ emotions, so you could just see if they like each other and call it good.”

“...Yes, or them saying it themselves,” Dream added. “Keep in mind that even if they like each other like that, it doesn’t automatically mean that they’re in a relationship.” 

“Hmm, yeah…” Blueberry agreed. “We really don’t know what’s going on between them, do we?”

At that moment, Ink remembered an important detail. “OH! Uh, I was talking to Error, and he said…” Ink began. “He said to keep Cross safe? Which doesn’t really make sense, but I have a feeling he might be right.”

“ _ Error  _ said to keep  _ me _ safe?” Cross scoffed. “Unlikely.”

“That’s… worrying,” Dream hummed with a concerned expression.

“When I asked why he said that, all he would tell me was that he ‘had a feeling something might…  _ happen, _ ’” Ink elaborated, messing with his vials. “He didn’t say what…”

“That’s even more worrying,” Blueberry said. He seemed to be trying to figure out all the possible reasons Error might say something like that. “Maybe he knows something we don’t.”

“Possible,” Ink nodded. He was about to continue, but then realized that what he would have said would have given up the whole roommate thing.

Blueberry started to pace. “But even if he did, why would he give us a hint like that? I know that there was a Dark Sans meeting yesterday, maybe he heard something about Cross? Hmmm…” He shook his head and stopped pacing. “I can’t figure out why he’d even vaguely tell us something like that, especially through Ink. Don’t you two hate each other?” He looked at Ink.

“Uh, ahaha, yeah…” Ink replied.

Blueberry stared at Ink. “...There’s something you’re not telling us.”

_ Shit, abort, abort! _ Ink mentally screamed at himself. “HAHAHA, what gave you that crazy idea?”

Dream raised an eyebrow. “Ink, you’re a terrible liar. What is it?”

Ink debated on what to say. He could just tell them, which would break the rules of the challenge, or he could pretend to forget. Yeah, that would work.

“Haha, what were we talking about?”

Blueberry facepalmed.  _ Phew, _ Ink thought.  _ It worked. _

“Why do you need to protect  _ me _ though?” Cross asked. 

Ink shrugged. “I’m not sur-” Suddenly, a tentacle shot out from behind Cross, grabbing the fluffy skeleton.

“OH FUCK-” Blueberry screamed as Ink threw up from the sudden shock. 

Nightmare stepped forward, Cross tied up in his tentacles. “Well. I suppose now you know why it was Cross you needed to protect? Speaking of that, how exactly did you know you needed to protect  _ anyone _ ?” the corrupted skeleton asked. “It couldn’t have been one of my boys, could it?”

“MMF!” Cross shook his head, trying to signal something along the lines of  _ don’t tell him! _

Nightmare tightened his grip on Cross. “Well?”

“No, we, uh… I had a feeling!” Ink said, scrambling for an explanation. “We… know about the rumor and figured that you would try to target us!”

“Ink, Ink,” Nightmare tutted. “You do realize I can tell you’re lying.”

“And you do realize that Dream tried to trick me with that before?” Ink retorted, rolling his mismatched eyelights. Nightmare paused for a moment and blinked.

“...shit. Well. Uh.” Nightmare tried to think of something else.

“Mmf.” Cross looked at Nightmare and rolled his eyelights.

“Shut up, you.” Nightmare glared at his prisoner. He looked back at the Star Sanses. “Well, I can see you’re not going to tell me. Goodbye, you miserable wretches.” He walked off, Cross still tied up and struggling.

“Well. That’s not good,” Blueberry said in a would-be calm voice. “So, Error was right.”

“Yeah. I think I have to go talk to him. Text when we leave to save Cross.” Ink splashed some paint on the ground and jumped through.

Dream and Blueberry looked at each other in confusion and shock. “He didn’t really forget what he wasn’t telling us, did he?” Blueberry said in a small voice.

“Not important,” Dream answered. “We can deal with that later, but right now, we need to rescue Cross.”

Blueberry nodded and asked, “But how?”

Dream sighed resentfully, and Blueberry knew what the guardian of positivity’s next words would be before they escaped his mouth. “We’ll need to go to Nightmare’s castle.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maxils Notes:  
> I was waiting for the fuck word to become valid :)  
> Sparkles' Notes:  
> Things are getting exciting, aren't they? Oh and Nootnoot and his brother seem to be more similar than either of them would like to admit.


	7. Paint It Black

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Star Sanses go to rescue Cross, and find an unlikely ally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sparkles' Notes:  
> >:3  
> Maxils Notes:  
> In case you didn't notice, this chapter is over two thousand words long. In case you didn't notice, it's 4:31 am for me. In case you didn't notice, I'm tired. In case you didn't notice, I stayed up for the express purpose of writing.

“Error?” Ink called into the front door of their house. They’d decided to make the front door black. Ink had originally painted it red, but… he couldn’t remember why they’d painted it black, but he preferred it this way. “I need to talk to you.”

Error, who was sitting on a beanbag that he’d somehow found, groaned. “What is it, Squid?”

“Well, you know how you said I should keep Cross safe?” 

Error jumped up. “Oh, god, Nightmare has him, doesn’t he?”

Ink did a double take. “How did you know?”

Error sighed. “I… tried to tell you in a way that wouldn’t get me killed, but apparently, you still managed to get him Crossnapped.”

“We actually kinda spent most of the meeting trying to figure out what you meant.” Ink left out the part where he’d almost let it slip that they were roommates.

“Was I that cryptic? Oh well. You’re going to have to-” Error was cut off when Ink’s phone started ringing. 

“Oh, sorry, I have to go rescue Cross now! Nice talk! Bye!” Ink called as he splashed paint on the ground, then jumped through it. 

“Oh, you’re here! Good!” Blueberry smiled, but Ink could tell that it was forced. “Well, come on, then.” 

Dream stood by a portal, staring at nothing in particular. It was obvious he was deep in thought. 

“Dream’s been like that for a little while now,” Blueberry whispered to Ink. “I don’t think he wants to go to Nightmare’s castle.”

“Well, it’s one of the most negative places in the multiverse, and negativity weakens Dream,” Ink replied with a shrug. “Also, do you have any idea how Nightmare got like that?”

Blueberry shook his head, then opened his mouth like he was about to say something, but Dream interrupted. 

“Come on, guys, it’s time to go,” he said loudly, as if Nightmare’s past was a subject he didn’t want to discuss.

Blueberry shrugged. “Alright.” The three tiny guardians of the multiverse walked through the golden portal that Dream had created. As soon as the portal closed, Dream shuddered.

“You good?” Ink asked.

“Just… uh… some memories. That I’d prefer  _ not _ to have.” Dream replied quietly. His voice was shaky, and Ink could tell that it wasn’t just memories. 

“Dream, buddy? Are you sure you’re okay?” Blueberry asked in a gentle tone.

“Yeah… just… a lot of n-negativity… Whoa.” Dream stumbled, but Ink and Blueberry caught him before he hit the ground.

Blueberry sighed as they stabilized Dream. “We should try to make this quick. Being here isn’t good for you.”

“Y-yeah.” Dream said weakly. “Come on, guys. C-Cross is counting on us.”

Ink nodded, then looked up at the looming castle. “Dream, do you know your way around this place?”

“Uh… n-no. I try to stay away f-from here, if I can.” 

“If only we had a guide,” Blueberry sighed. His eyes widened suddenly. “Ink, behind you!”

“Hmm?” Ink turned around to see Error standing behind him. “THE FUCK!”

Error sighed. “I suppose I can help you three. But if Nightmare finds out about this, I’m dead, so keep your mouths shut.”

“I am completely and utterly mystified,” Blueberry said with a matching tone. “Why are you helping us?”

“I have my reasons,” Error replied, not even looking at Ink. “Now do you want to rescue Cross or what?”

Dream coughed. “Y-yeah. Come on, guys.” 

Error shot some strings at Dream to pull him upright. “They haven’t actually done anything to Cross yet,” the glitch reassured him. “Nightmare’s barely looked at him since he brought him over here. Also, I’m in a good mood. Don’t fuck it up.” He glared at Ink, who shrunk back.

“Alright then,” Blueberry said, smiling nervously. “Let’s go.”

Error nodded, helping Dream along with his strings. Ink shuffled along nervously.

Once they got inside the castle, Ink realized that it wasn’t going to be easy getting Cross out. The castle was like a dark and gloomy maze, with one of the Dark Sanses patrolling around every now and then. 

“Hide!” Error hissed suddenly. Ink, Blueberry and Dream didn’t question him. 

“Hey, Glitch Bitch. Didn’t know you were meant to be patrolling now.” Red said casually.

“Not patrolling, just walking around. And you?” Error replied calmly.

“Same here. He hasn’t put anyone on guard right now, wants to give Dream a ‘chance’.” 

“Oh, I see,” Error said, pulling slightly on his strings to make sure the Star Sanses were listening. “And Nightmare’ll pull the jump on Dream once he finds Cross?”

Red shrugged. “I think so. No idea, really. Well, I can’t say it was _ nice _ talking to you, but whatever. Bye.” He kept walking.

Error waited a couple of seconds until whispering, “You all heard that, right?” 

Dream nodded silently. He appeared to have gained back some of his strength. “So... he was planning for us- me- he w-was planning for me to come here?” he asked.

“Yeah, pretty much. He doesn’t want you talking about his alleged relationship with Killer.” The word ‘alleged’ seemed slightly rushed, in Ink’s opinion. Eh, maybe he was just hearing things.

“He’s p-probably expecting Blueberry and Ink, now that they saw him capture Cross.” Dream noted. With a sigh, he added, “He probably a-already knows that we’re here.”

“Oh god, he probably does,” Error groaned. He traced the blue streaks below his eye sockets. “Ughhhh.”

“Dang,” Ink said. “Well, if he does, then you should probably stop guiding us. I don’t think-”

“Well, Error. This is unexpected,” Nightmare grinned. Ink pulled out Broomie and Blueberry summoned multiple bone attacks. “Oh, I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” He grabbed Error in his tentacles. “After all, you don’t want your little  _ friend _ to get hurt, now do you?”

“A̵̛͙̜̙͚̱̋̀͊̉̀̌̅Ā̵̮͈͗̿̃̐̽͝Ä̷̡͕̞͔̬̋͘A̶̞͛̉̀̌͝Ä̶̹̗̻̯̳̬̦́̓̽Ḁ̷̒͌̋̐̾̑̉̒̈́͝Ä̸̡͍͕̠̦̖́͑̏̒͌̍̍͐̚͠A̷̠͕̝̫͌̌̏̾͂̉̏̅̃A̶̢̜͊̌̋̈H̷̡̞̮͙̗͖̙̍̓̔̒̑͗!̵̛͈̙̗̲͒͒̅̔̅̔̉̕͘” Error screamed, trying to struggle. “Ṋ̴̈́͊-̵̜̦̫̾̎̓N̶̦̳̆i̷͚̎g̸̙̮͙͆̿h̵͉̍̎͘ẗ̵̻́ṃ̶̤͙͊ą̸̱͛̓͂r̵̥̐̅e̴͇̽̍̿,̶̥̗̑̋̌ ̷͕̾̒̿s̶̢̺̫̔ţ̶́̾o̵̩͋p̸̹͖͒͆!̵̩͉̫̑͊”

Ink’s eyelights disappeared. “Let. Him. Go.” 

“Aww, you actually  _ care _ , don’t you, Ink?” Nightmare teased.

“Care? Hahaha!” Ink laughed. “You’ve forgotten just who the fuck you’re talking to. I  _ don’t _ care about him. Not in the slightest!” The squid paused for a moment to consider his next words. “Still, he’s  _ my _ enemy, and to be honest, I’d like to be the one to defeat him, so if you’d just put him gently on the ground so we can negotiate Cross’s return, that’d be great.”

Nightmare mimed considering this. “Mmm, no, I don’t think I will.” he said with a cruel smile, tightening his grip on Error.

“Stop! You’re hurting him!” Blueberry shouted.

“Oh, I know that, my small blue friend. Why would I be doing this if not to hurt the traitor?” Nightmare smirked. 

Ink’s eyelights changed shape, to a red target and a purple pentagon. “This is your final warning, Nightmare,” he said, without a trace of sympathy. He pulled Broomie out. “Put. Him.  _ Down _ .”

Dream glanced worriedly between the two. He couldn’t do much in his current state; being here made him weak.

“And let the miserable excuse for a traitor off without a punishment? No, I don’t think I will.” 

The tentacle squeezed more, and Error let out a glitched scream. Nightmare dropped him with a sadistic grin, but Error stopped falling in mid-air as a blue glow surrounded his corrupted, now-visible soul.

“NOPE.” Blueberry’s left eyelight glowed as he kept the black-boned skeleton up in the air with blue magic. “Ink, I need help over here!”

Ink moved under Error, and Blueberry lowered him into Ink’s arms. “I’ll take him. You stay here with Dream, negotiate for Cross,” Ink ordered. He looked down at Error. “He’s… not even rebooting right now… his injuries must be bad. I need to go, Blueberry.” Error groaned softly as Ink carried him off. 

Blueberry and Dream glanced at each other, then nodded. “Tell us where Cross is,” Dream demanded.

Nightmare smiled. “Of course,” he said calmly, as if Error hadn’t just been carried off barely able to move. “Follow me, brother dear.” He twirled on his heel and led the other two skeletons down the labyrinthine halls. Without Error or Ink to help with Dream, Blueberry was stuck supporting the taller, slowing him down significantly. Fortunately, Nightmare slowed down as well.

Eventually, they reached their destination.

“Cross!” Dream almost shouted when he saw Cross shackled in the dungeon. 

“D-Dream?!” the monochrome skeleton gasped. “What are you doing here?”

“Rescuing you, duh,” Blueberry said flatly. He turned to Nightmare. “Now you can let him go.”

“Ah-ah-ah, not so fast,” Nightmare smirked, waving a tentacle. “There are a couple of… details we’ll have to smooth out first.”

“Details like what?” Dream asked nervously.

“Well. I assume you have heard about the rumors regarding me and Killer?”

“Yes? What does that have to do with you capturing Cross?” Dream asked suspiciously. 

Nightmare sighed. “I’d…  _ prefer _ if you didn’t spread them. If you agree to keep quiet about it, we’ll let Cross go.” 

“Oh, is that all?” Dream asked, pleasantly surprised. “Well, of course! You… could have just asked, though, Nightmare.” 

The (slightly) taller chuckled with relief. “Well, if I did that, I wouldn’t be an ass, now, would I?”

Dream didn’t have an answer to that.

“Can you let me go now?” Cross called across the room impatiently. 

Nightmare waved a hand dismissively. “Killer, let him free.” Dream hadn’t noticed that Killer was in the room before then. Killer led Cross over to Dream and Blueberry. 

“Before we go,” Dream said, smiling slightly. “Are the rumors true?” He was very curious as to the answer. His curiosity had been eating at him since he’d first learned of the rumor’s existence. 

Killer blushed. “Y-yeah. Yeah, they are.” 

Dream smiled again, but there was a hint of sadness somewhere there. “Be good to my brother, will you?” he asked. Killer nodded. “Come on, guys. It’s time to go,” Dream said to his companions, creating a golden portal next to him. He and his friends walked through. 

“He won’t tell,” Nightmare confirmed.

Error’s skull was pounding. Noise blurred, light was pain, and it took immense effort for him to open an eyesocket. When he did, the light caused more pain and he immediately closed it again. He shook with the realization that his whole upper body was in pain.

“Shh, stop trying to move,” he heard a familiar voice say. 

“Who…?” he muttered. 

“It’s Ink,” the voice said softly. “Now stop moving, alright? You got squeezed pretty hard.”

Slowly, the memories returned to Error. Getting squeezed, what Ink had said…

“Alright. You can move now, if you feel like it.” Ink said.

Error sat up slowly. It didn’t hurt quite as much, but it was still uncomfortable. He opened his eyesockets again, and the light was much more bearable now. He reached into his pocket with his arm that wasn’t in pain and was relieved to feel his glasses intact. “Thank god…” he muttered.

“Are you feeling okay?” 

“I thought you didn’t care,” Error growled at Ink.

Ink smiled sadly. “I wish I could.” There was a moment where neither spoke. “Do you want pizza?”

“Nah, I can just grab some chocolate from Underfell.” He opened a portal, but forgot how much his one arm was hurting. The moment he tried to move it, a sharp pain shot through it.

“I wouldn’t recommend moving your arm. There was a pretty huge fracture, and that was all I could get painted over. There might be smaller fractures.”

“ _ That _ would’ve been nice to know before I moved it,” Error snapped.

“Well, you also had multiple rib injuries, and a fracture on your spine. I don’t remember which vertebra, though. I also noticed that you had a seemingly unrelated cut on the front of one of your cervical vertebra. Oh, I healed all of those, by the way.” Ink paused for a moment. “So, pizza?”

“Whatever,” Error muttered under his breath.

Ink grabbed the remote and turned on Undernovela, but interrupted it within a moment. “By the way, is it cool if I mention that I have a roommate to Dream, Blueberry and Cross? Like, not that you’re that roommate, but just the fact that I have one?”

Error sighed. If he denied, he’d be a hypocrite. “Yeah, okay. Can I watch Undernovela now?”

“Sure,” Ink nodded, going silent. They were both silent until Ink left to go get pizza, after which the silence resumed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sparkles' Notes:  
> Well. _That _was exciting.__  
>  Maxils Notes:  
> Over 2k words of excitement!


	8. and now, your daily dose of side ships

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And now, your daily dose of side ships. Not a lot of Errink in this chapter.  
> (Lust's in the last part of the chapter, feel free to skip that-)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sparks' Notes:  
> Sooooo, yeah. I know Cherryberry (blueberry x red) isn't too common a ship, but I really like it-  
> Maxils Notes:  
> Not too common? I see it quite often. It was actually one of the first ships I got into. Sure, Kustard could be more common, and Errink is almost definitely more common, but Cherryberry is also common.

Blueberry said his goodbyes to Dream, then walked through a portal to what he thought was Underswap. “Wait. Oh… oh no.” 

It wasn’t Underswap.

He was in Snowdin, alright, but there was a slight red tint to the sky, and Blueberry thought he saw some blood in the snow. Suddenly, there was a footstep behind him. Quick as a flash, he hid behind a bush.

Someone chuckled. It was a voice Blueberry recognized. “Aww, sweetheart, not gonna come out and play?”

As calmly as he could, Blueberry stepped out from behind the bush and said, “Red.”

“Right in one, sweetheart. What’s a mighty Star Sans doing in lowly Underfell?”

“I- it’s- we’re not-” Blueberry stammered, flustered at the compliment, even though it was probably sarcastic.

Red laughed. “You say you aren’t mighty, sweetheart, but honestly. I’ve seen you fight. Stop lying.” 

Wait, it was genuine?!

 _Focus!_ he snapped at himself. Blueberry readied his magic nervously. Out of all the AUs that he could have gotten sent to, it just had to be the one most notorious for being dangerous. He was normally against fighting, but in Underfell, it was a necessity. “I don’t plan to stay for long.”

“Oh, really?” Red asked, his own eyelight glowing. “How about a quick spar first?”

“Uhh, no thanks…” 

“Hahaha… kid, you don’t have a _choice_.” Red grinned, then ran up to Blueberry. The smaller skeleton dodged perfectly.

“Red, you’re forgetting that I know every single one of your moves,” he said, sighing and readying an attack. “And you _definitely_ don’t know every one of mine.”

“We’ll see about that, Muffin.” Red shot some sharp bone attacks at Blueberry, who dodged them all. In response, the shorter sent out an intense pattern of regular and blue attacks. Red swiftly avoided each one. “You’re forgetting that dodging is a Sans’ specialty.”

It went on like that for a while, each attacking and dodging and commenting on the other’s fighting style. Several bone attacks and Gaster Blasters were launched at high speeds, with neither skeleton backing down, but eventually, Blueberry got tired.

He panted, trying to keep fighting, because he knew he wouldn’t be given any sort of mercy if he stopped. Eventually, though, he just couldn’t take it anymore. He dropped to his knees, exhausted. The taller skeleton walked over to Blueberry.

“Nice try, sweetheart. I suppose you just had to give up,” Red said softly, lifting Blueberry’s chin up.

Blueberry laughed quietly. “You’re right. Well, you can kill me now.”

“Heh. I might.”

“But I thought-”

“You’re not from Underfell. Technically, I don’t have to kill you... but I still might.” Red spun a bone attack like a baton.

Blueberry smiled nervously. “P-please don’t.”

“SANS? WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO?” Underfell Papyrus, or Edge, asked, walking towards them. He stopped in his tracks, then groaned. “IS THIS ANOTHER ONE OF YOUR INSANE ‘FRIENDS?’”

“B-Boss! Uh… yes?”

Blueberry glanced surprisedly at Red, who gave him a look as if to say, “Play along!”

“ _Hahaha_ , yeah! My name’s Blueberry,” he said with a sadistic grin. Then he whispered to Red, “I’m just acting, don’t worry.”

“You’re pretty damn convincing,” Red whispered back.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO HIM, SANS? IS HE YOUR BOYFRIEND OR SOMETHING?”

“B-b-boyfriend?!” Blueberry stammered, feeling his face heat up. “Nonononono, you h-have it all wrong! I’m not his boyfriend, why would I even date him in the first place?!”

“Y-yeah, we were just s-sparring! Th-that's all!” Red added, his face cherry red.

Edge looked unimpressed. “THEN WHY ARE YOU BOTH ACTING SO UNCOMFORTABLE?” he asked.

“Fuck,” Blueberry said under his breath, covering his face with his scarf. Red looked at him quizzically. “N-nothing!” the smaller skeleton stammered. Red shrugged, then turned to Edge.

“Look, boss, it’s nothing. We were just practicing fighting a bit, alright?”

Edge raised an eyebrow, but apparently accepted the explanation. “OKAY, FINE. GET BACK TO NOT MAKING OUT.”

“Okay, su- WAIT WHAT-” Red yelled. Blueberry made a little squeaking sound. Edge walked off without another word.

“I need to go!” Blueberry said, in an even higher-pitched voice than normal. “Bye! Um, it was nice! Seeing you I mean! Bye!” He quickly summoned a portal and jumped through it.

“...bye?” Red replied, though it ended up sounding like a question. He sighed. “Well, _that_ was awkward.” He reached into his pocket for a chocolate bar, to find none. He searched his other pocket in alarm, but that was empty, too. He looked around the area to see if he’d dropped it. No chocolate. “The hell? I could’ve sworn…”

Blueberry finally got to his home in Underswap, still panting from the battle.

“Sans?! What the hell happened to you!?” Underswap Papyrus, or Stretch, asked in alarm.

“Long… long story. I got in a fight, but I’m fine, seriously.”

“You’re going to tell me what happened, Sans. I don’t want any lies,” Stretch said sternly.

“I accidentally portalled to Underfell. Then I got in a fight with Red, and-” Blueberry hesitated, blushing. “Well, his brother asked if I was his boyfriend. I’m not, of course,” he quickly added, seeing the furious expression on his brother’s face. “It just got really awkward. Then I got back here.”

Stretch studied his twin’s face for any trace of a lie. “...Alright,” he sighed. “Let’s get you fixed up.”

Dream stared down at the stump of the tree that he used to protect. He’d gone back to Dreamtale, trying to figure out why in the Multiverse Nightmare would do what he did. His brother had always seemed so happy. So why…? Of course, there was always the possibility that Nightmare had lied.

God, Dream wished he’d go back to normal.

He wished he could go back in time and get Nightmare to tell him what was wrong. He might have been able to stop him. He might have been able to save him.

“...Dream?”

Dream whipped around to see who had spoken, then relaxed. “Oh, Cross. How are you?” He smiled, but it was obviously fake.

“Dream, is everything alright?” Cross asked, his voice full of concern.

“Yeah, everything’s just fine.” Dream nodded just a little too much.

Cross sighed. “Dream, don’t lie to me,” he begged. The guardian’s smile faltered.

Dream suddenly started crying. It wasn’t loud, but his pain was obvious nonetheless.

Cross had never seen Dream cry. It was strange and unnatural, the guardian of positivity letting out his bottled-up emotions. He hugged Dream, trying to comfort him.

“I- it’s just- I couldn’t save him. I- wish… oh, Cross…” Dream said, sobbing gently.

“It’s okay, Dream. But… who’s ‘him’?”

“N-Nightmare. You ever wonder how he got like... that?” Dream questioned, having calmed down slightly. “We were meant to guard this tree… I was the guardian of positivity, he was the guardian of negativity. Each of us had a side of the tree, a different kind of-” He hesitated, as if it was hard to talk about. “A different kind of apple. One day, he… ate one of his. It turned him into… well, you know.” Dream turned to the devastated village in the distance. “You see that, Cross? That was a bustling village. When Nightmare… transformed, the first thing he did was kill them all.”

Cross’ nonexistent heart stopped for a second. “...He killed them?”

Dream nodded. “If it wouldn’t have killed him, he would have killed me as well. Instead, he settled for turning me to stone.”

“He did _what_?”

Dream laughed bitterly. “Turned me to stone. The worst five hundred or so years of my life.”

“Five _hundred_ or so?!” 

“Mm-hmm. Not to mention that I’m claustrophobic. Nightmare knows that, too.” Dream sighed. “I really hope that the real Nightmare’s still in there somewhere.”

“You mean, he’s not really an angstopus?”

“Haha, no. He looks pretty much like me normally, but he has purple eyes and his diadem’s a little different.”

“Oh. Do you have his diadem or…?”

Dream sighed. “As far as I know, he destroyed it a long time ago, but for all I know he might’ve kept it...” 

Lust looked around, trying to figure out where the heck he was. He’d tried to make a shortcut, but he’d ended up somewhere that _definitely_ wasn’t Underlust. _That’s what I get for teleporting while half asleep..._ “Uh… hello?” he called out, hoping that someone would respond.

“You don’t look like you’re from around here,” a voice he didn’t recognize greeted him, a smirk obvious in the tone. He looked around to see if he could identify who was speaking. His eyes widened in alarm as he realized who the voice was coming from.

“H-Horror,” he stammered. Oh shit, he was about to be eaten, wasn’t he? This was how he was gonna die?

“That’s me,” the murderous skeleton grinned.

“I’m- just gonna- leave now, mmkay?” Lust smiled at him nervously, then began to walk away. However, when he turned around, Horror was right in front of him. “Fuck!”

Horror chuckled and turned to Lust with what, at first glance, looked like an innocent smile. “Aww, leaving so soon?”

“Um, yes?” Lust didn’t want to be here long.

“I don’t think so.” Horror grinned hungrily, then raised his axe threateningly.

“Wait, wait!” Lust shouted, throwing his hands up in front of him. “I- uh… you’re just hungry, right? I can get you some food.”

Horror lowered his axe slowly and raised an eyebrow in suspicion. “You’d actually do that? This isn’t some sort of trick?”

“Of course! Why wouldn’t I?” Lust said, surprised.

Horror smiled again, but this time it was genuine. “Okay, fine. Go get me some food, and I won’t eat you.” His smile shrunk slightly. “But… _please_ don’t be tricking me on this. Please.”

Lust locked eyes with Horror. “I’m not. I promise.”

Horror searched Lust’s face desperately for any sign of lying. Eventually he seemed to decide that Lust was being genuine. “Alright. Come back soon.”

Lust nodded, then teleported away. He was lucky to end up back at his own house, even if it was face first on the ground. Why hadn’t he napped, again?

 _Whatever._ He went to the fridge, grabbed some food, and, as he’d promised, returned to Horror, whose singular red eyelight lit up at the sight of food.

“Here you go,” Lust told him, handing over the food. “Just like I promised.”

Horror scarfed down the food with enthusiasm and speed that Lust had never seen before. It was like he hadn’t seen food in years.

“I take it you liked the food?”

Horror looked at him with a pleading face that could rival Blueberry’s, and Blueberry was the most persuasive bastard Lust had ever met. Never again was Lust buying Blueberry a whole twelve donuts.

“You want more, don’t you?” Lust guessed, his face falling. Horror nodded, keeping up the same adorable face the entire time. “Listen, hun, I’m tired right now, so-”

“I’ll sleep with you,” Horror bargained with a smile.

Lust tried to find the words to argue. His first instinct would have been to immediately accept the offer, no questions asked. However, he was exhausted and just wanted sleep. “Counteroffer, I get to sleep first. Not sex, actual sleep. I haven’t slept today.”

“Huh, I thought that would work…” Horror muttered with a frown. “Counteroffer to your counteroffer, you sleep on my couch so you don’t use any more magic, and you bring more food when you wake up?”

Lust sighed resignedly, smiling. “That works.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sparks' Notes:  
> *tosses this chapter to you* okay ima leave now-  
> Maxils Notes:  
> By the way, I just got a new laptop. Fun.


	9. and now, back to your regularly scheduled errink

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Error tries to cook, and actually sort of succeeds! Unfortunately, the victory is cut short.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maxils Notes:  
> It's angst time, it's angst time! Gather all your friends, it's angst time! It's angst time, it's angst time! The perfect time for sadists!  
> Alternate chapter title: Put Your Hands In The Air Like You Just Don’t Care  
> Alternate alternate chapter title: Oh Boy, Panic Attacks Are Fun!  
> Alternate alternate alternate chapter title: Cooking With A Killer Skeleton  
> Alternate alternate alternate alternate chapter title: Smile!

“Ink?” Error shouted across the house. Aside from his arm, most of his injuries had stopped hurting, and even then, the pain in his arm had dulled to a throb. Unfortunately, this still meant that Error spent most of his time in his room or on the couch watching Undernovela, because he insisted dramatically (and obviously untruthfully) that he was still in excruciating pain. “Why is there an ink stain on the TV?”

“Oh. Um,” Ink responded, trying to make up an excuse as he walked into the room. “I… uh…”

Error sighed. “Just tell me what really happened, Squid.”

“I… kinda just a little bit threw up on it?” Ink chuckled nervously. “I can clean it up.”

“Fucking _do that_ then,” Error groaned.

Ink put his hands in the air, as if to surrender. “Alright, alright,” he submitted. “I’ll get to cleaning.”

“Good,” Error growled.

Ink smiled inwardly. Sure, Error was a little mean, and he _could_ be annoying, but he was a pretty fun person to be around. At least he made things interesting.

“What are you smirking at, Squid?” Error asked, sounding annoyed.

“Nothing,” Ink stated flatly. “Have you ever heard of regular smiling?”

“I can fucking smile.” Error rolled his eyelights and gave a forced smile.

“Yeahhh, that’s not really a smile.” Ink drew out the first word. “That’s…” He trailed off, attempting to find a word to describe what Error was doing, but none came to him. 

Error sighed. “Yeah, I know. I can smile, though. It just can’t be forced.”

“True. I have seen you smile, on occasion. Usually when I trip over my scarf…” Ink muttered.

“Heh. You have to admit that _is_ funny.” Error grinned at the memory of the first time Ink had done that.

“There, you’re smiling!” Ink exclaimed. He tried to hug Error, then remembered the glitch’s haphephobia. “Sorry,” he smiled nervously, then stepped back. 

“It’s alright. Thanks for remembering,” Error sighed gladly, the smile not leaving his face. 

Ink smiled again, more genuinely this time. “Can you teach me how to cook?” he asked suddenly.

“Uh… maybe? Ink, you do remember that _I’m_ not sure how to cook either?” Error reminded him.

“...Fuck, you’re right,” Ink realized. “Well. Unless one of us magically learns how to cook sometime, I guess we’re stuck ordering food.”

Error groaned, “Ugh, let’s just try it. It might work out, you never know.” He got up, flinching as he put pressure on his injured arm, and made his way to the kitchen.

“Feeling optimistic, are we? I nominate you to try first,” Ink laughed gently as they stopped in the now-decorated kitchen. They’d gone with a light cream color for the walls, and marble flooring. The cabinets had stayed the same as when Ink had first created them, though.

“Fine.” Error stared at the empty stove. “Well, if I’m going to cook, I need… stuff to cook with?”

“Ah. That. Hang on a minute,” Ink said, creating a portal with Broomie. “I’ll be right back.” 

“Okay, I guess.” Error looked around the kitchen, trying to figure out what the hell he was even going to cook. “Fuck it, I’ll make pancakes. Why not?” Pancakes tasted good. Not like chocolate, but still yummy. 

Then he had an idea. 

“ _Chocolate_ pancakes.” He grinned widely. “Hah, I really hope I don’t mess this up.”

“I have come to the realization that I never asked you what you were making,” Ink declared seriously, coming back through the portal. “Therefore, I don’t know what to buy.”

“Oh, just some pancake mix,” Error told him. “Preferably the chocolate kind.” 

“Ah, alright. I’ll get that for you.” Ink smiled, writing it down on his scarf, then dropped back through the portal.

Error stood around for a bit, unsure of what to do next, then took out his phone. A text from Blueberry.

**WHY IS RED SO SCARY AND NOT** **  
****SCARY AT THE SAME TIME**

**not sure, why are you telling me about it?**

**I don’t know actually**

**that’s what i thought**

**BUT HE’S SO** **_ADORABLE_ ** **SOMETIMES**

**not my problem**

**Shut up.**

**you’re the one who started talking to me**

**Fair**

**so why did you pick me, of all people, to** **  
****tell about your little crush on Red?**

 **I don’t have a crush on him! Where’d** **  
****you get that from?**

**oh idk, maybe the fact that you called him** **  
** **adorable?**

**Someone can call someone else adorable** **  
****without having a crush on that person.** **  
****Example, whenever anyone calls me** **  
****adorable.**

**blueberry**

**you never stop talking about him**

**you always hold back when you’re** **  
****fighting him**

 **the way you** **_look_ ** **at him**

**  
** **you have a crush on him. admit it.**

**No comment.**

**i win :)**

**shut up**

“Error, I’m back!” Ink called, holding up a shopping bag. Error put away his phone. “What’re you smiling at, Glitchy?”

“Oh, just Blueberry denying a crush.”

Instantly, Ink sprang for the phone. “Ooh, I wanna see!” 

Error held up the screen for Ink to see. 

“Oh. Oh my god.” Ink could barely hold in hysterical laughter. “That’s… I am gonna do everything I can to set them up. You can cook and call me when you’re done, ‘kay?”

Error snorted. “Alright, have fun, Squid.”

Ink grinned mischievously. “Oh, I will.” He made another portal and jumped through.

Error sighed fondly. Yeah, Ink was annoying, but his company was pretty great at times.

He got to work on the pancakes - turning on the stove, preparing the mix… He was surprised to find that cooking wasn’t as hard as he’d thought, even with one arm aching. He put the finished pancakes on a plate, about to call Ink, but a memory suddenly came back to him.

_“What? You think I can’t cook, Paps?”_

_“OF COURSE I THINK YOU CAN COOK, SECOND BROTHER! I’M JUST SIMPLY SURPRISED THAT IT TASTES GOOD!”_

_“Paps, his name’s Geno.” Sans walked into the kitchen, smiling. Of course, he was always smiling, so one more time didn’t really matter._

_“OH, ALRIGHT. I’M SURPRISED YOUR COOKING TASTES GOOD, GENO!”_

Error nearly fell down from shock. “No, no, no. Ugh, god, why’d I have to remember that _now_ -”

_“I STILL THINK YOU SHOULD HAVE MADE SPAGHETTI-FLAVORED PANCAKES INSTEAD.” Papyrus munched on the food that Geno had made for him._

_“Paps, ya gotta be grateful for what you’ve got,” Sans said, still smiling. Of course he was smiling. He hadn’t lost everything. Not yet. And Geno was going to do everything he could to stop another Genocide timeline._

Error couldn’t hold the tears back anymore. They came out of his eyes like twin waterfalls. Like- 

_“Why… why do my eyes hurt so GỌ̷͐͑͠Ḏ̸͚͍̊̈́Ḋ̶̳̻̰̿Ạ̶̢̧̳͔̙͖̙͍͙̘͇̰͎̣̈́M̸̢͓̖̝͇̘͓̳̱̅̈̄͑͐̒̾̀͊͗͠ͅṄ̴̡̮͍͈̩͈̯̃̅̌́̒̑͊̃̕͠͝ ̷̡͈͕̜̥̣̭͔̗̙̰̟͊͊M̶͙̝̓͐̓̅̅͆̈̅̐̆̍̃̅̅͘Ų̸̢͔̲͈̱̯͕̻̃̃̐͒͋͆̿̚C̴͈͈̦̗̭̓̄̉͑̒̈̋̈́̈́̚͝H̸͎͈̲͉͕̄̀͛͊̿̋́̕?!” Error screamed. His glasses fell to the ground._

_“Oh… oh my- Are you alright-” Spectre!Toriel was cut off._

_“Hahaha… alright? Oh, I’m fine.” Error grinned crazily. “But in a few moments, you won’t be.”_

“Error?!” Ink gasped, having come back to see Error nearly on the floor, crying and shouting at something that wasn’t there. “Oh… oh my- Are you alright-”

“D̶̮͎̾ͅõ̸̲̤͕͛̂n̴͉͎̜̈'̶̙̃͆͘t̴͉̲̖͑̈ ̵͕́f̷̘̙͋͠ͅu̴͖̎̉͑ĉ̵̹ǩ̵̡̢̑̅i̷̥̭̎n̸̗̐g̴͎̟̼͌ ̴̪̖̏̕s̴͚̳̝̀̽ả̶͍̮̪y̶̡͚̭̽͒͗ ̴̡̀̍̿t̵̛͖̾̂h̸̢͆a̸-” At that moment, Error finally crashed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maxils Notes:  
> Fun trivia for anyone who didn't know, Error used to be Geno.  
> Oh boy, panic attacks are fun!


	10. Death Has Joined The Chat (aka, the texting chapter)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ink and Blue text each other. Blue suspects that Ink has been kidnapped by Error. Error and Edge try to get Blue and Red to make out. Ink helps.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maxils Notes:  
> 12 pages of google doc- have fun cuz i sure did.  
> ...im prolly gonna end up writing this separately in blue's pov, then another in edge's...

Oh shit. What the hell. Okay, Error just collapsed on the floor after a panic attack. God, what was Ink supposed to do? Just wait? How long would he be out? Would he crash again once he came back to his senses?

_How long will I be alone?_

Okay, no, just breathe, Ink told himself. Error would probably come back to his senses soon. Yeah.

 _I... should probably check for injuries…_ Ink decided, rolling up the sleeve of Error’s previously-injured arm and found nothing, so he decided to check the other arm. Once again, there were no injuries.

“Well,” Ink whispered to himself, “that’s probably good.” Ink decided that Error probably wouldn’t want Ink continuing investigation, so he stopped. “Now, what could have caused this?” There wasn’t exactly anything in the kitchen _to_ cause it…

“Maybe he burned himself and freaked out? No, there were no marks on his hands or anything. Unless I missed it…” Ink paused for a moment. “What did he tell me not to say again? I think I was just asking if he was alright.” The loading bar above Error’s head finished filling up.

“Ughhh,” Error groaned. He blinked a few times before realizing that Ink was kneeling over him, sighing in relief. “Oh. I, uh, probably owe you an explanation.”

“That would be nice, yes.” Ink crossed his arms expectantly.

“I just… remembered something. I’m fine.” 

“That’s not much of an explanation.”

“ _Fine._ I remembered talking to Papyrus about some pancakes, okay?”

“Why were you talking to Papyrus?” Ink pressed.

“Ṯ̷͖̱̥̓́̆͆ḧ̶̨̧̲̔̈́͠à̶̟̼͝ͅț̷̡̇̏̎'̷̝͒͊̏s̶̥̔͐̒̈́ ̵̮̘͈͠e̸̡̖̰͗͝n̸̜̻̔͐͗̿͜o̸̍̑̇̈͜ũ̵̟̌͑g̴̛̳̲̤͂h̶̯̻̹̅̅͋̚,̸͔̽͊̇͠” Error hissed suddenly. “I don’t need to tell you shit.”

Ink jumped back in shock. “Alright, alright… I’m sorry, I just wanted to help…”

Error let out a remorseful sigh. “You can help by not asking about it.”

Ink nodded. “Uh, should we eat the pancakes now-”

Error tackled him into a hug.

Ink blinked. “Hey, buddy, what’s this for?” he asked, trying to hide that he was smiling.

“I just… thanks, I guess. For trying to help,” Error muttered, then released Ink. “Plus, hugs are actually pretty nice,” he added under his breath.

“What was that last part?”

“N-nothing.” He stood up. “Anyway, yeah, we should eat the pancakes.”

“Okay then.” Ink smiled, standing up as well. He picked one of the pancakes up and took a bite. “Oh, you’re a good cook!”

“It was just a ready-made mix, seriously, Ink,” Error snorted. If he tried to make something like pasta, for example, he’d probably end up burning the house down.

“Still.”

“Why are you so determined to compliment me?”

Ink shrugged, taking another bite of his pancake. “‘Caush it’sh tashty,” he mumbled through the food in his mouth.

“You sound ridiculous.”

Ink swallowed. “I don’t care,” he smirked, before bursting into laughter.

“Idiot,” Error chuckled.

“Well, at least one of us can cook _something_.” Ink was still giggling a little.

“That _does_ increase our chances of survival,” Error grinned.

“Oh, I think we could survive on pizza, but some variety can be nice, I suppose.”

“The level of mutual joking between us scares me.” 

“You and me both, Glitchy,” Ink grinned.

“Okay, I need to go and try to set up Red and Blueberry.” Error smiled, grabbing one of the pancakes off the plate. “You can have the rest of the pancakes.” He opened a glitchy portal, then walked through. He waved, then closed the portal.

Ink’s phone booped. “Hmm?” He picked it up from the counter. A text from Blueberry.

**Ink I was talking to Error and I think I** **  
****have a crush on Red-**

Ink paused for a moment and thought about what to say. He couldn’t just reveal that he and Error were roommates.

**You have a crush on who now?**

**Red**

**Huh, Red and Blueberry.** **  
****You can be the color couple :D**

**Why are you my friend.**

**idk man**

**you are annoying**

**You sound like Errror**

***Error**

**I don’t care.**

**so how exactly did you come** **  
****to this realization through** **  
****talking to Error?**

Ink already knew exactly how, but he didn’t want to blow his cover. 

**Basically he told me a bunch of reasons** **  
****that he thought I had a crush on Red and** **  
****they were all correct and now I’m-**

**I just can’t**

**mood**

**you are being very unhelpful**

**What do you** **_want_ ** **me to say?**

 **Something shipping Dream and** **  
****Cross?**

It was a running joke amongst Ink and Blueberry that Dream secretly liked Cross. There wasn’t really any supporting evidence, but there wasn’t any negating evidence either, so they continued.

**Oh, please.**

**omfg Dream is sooo in love** **  
****with Cross!!1!!1!**

**it’s ovbios!!!!111!!!one!**

**tehy shoud jus kiss alreday!!!eleven!!**

**yeas!11!!!1!**

**Okay, but seriously, Dream’s gonna** **  
****kill me when he finds out about my** **  
****crush,,,**

**Ok yep that’s a problem.**

**Should I just resign myself to death**

**idk ur call**

**FUCK MY BROTHER CAN SEE MY** **  
****CHAT MESSAGES**

 **changed my mind, resign** **  
****yourself to d e a t h**

**_Death has entered the chat._ **

**not what I meant, get out of here** **  
****reaper, go back to flirting w/ geno**

**_Death has left the chat._ **

**gtg, bro shouting that he’s gonna** **  
****kill me. If you never hear from me** **  
****again tell everyone to stop calling** **  
****me adorable**

 **scratch that, just tell everyone to** **  
****stop calling me adorable either** **  
****way**

**idea, hide in another au**

**genius**

**And of course I ended up in** **  
****_Underfell_ ** **.**

 **It’s like my portal powers are** **  
****stuck to this place**

**At least you’ll be relatively safe**

**INK**

**I AM IN UNDERFELL**

**ONE OF THE LEAST SAFE AUS**

**IN THE FUCKING MULTIVERSE**

**ok maybe you’ll still die**

**But at least ur bro doesnt know**

**…**

**Ink**

**Did you forget that he can see my** **  
****messages**

**...fuck. can he follow u?**

**idk**

**Fuck, I’m gonna have to** **_stay_ ** **here**

**...why**

**Red’s brother is here. He thinks** **  
****I’m one of Red’s “crazy friends”**

Ink typed something, but remembered that Blueberry hadn’t been there when Ink and Classic had gone to Underfell.

**I was about to say something** **  
****about what happened when I** **  
****brought Classic to Underfell**

**but then i remembered**

**you werent there yet**

**fuck red’s here**

**gtg**

**bye**

Ink ate another pancake to fill the time. After a couple of minutes, though, his phone booped again.

**OH MY GOD HIS BROTHER-**

**what about his brother?**

**HIS BROTHER JUST,,,**

**PUSHED HIM OVER**

**OH GOD HE MADE US** **_KISS_ **

**:D**

**Ink omfg**

**did you like it?**

**i hate you**

**…**

**yes**

  
  


Ink took a quick break to find the Lenny copypasta.

**( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)**

**no**

**yes**

**stfu**

**no ;)**

**you should kiss him for real**

**SHUT THE FUCK UP**

**Call me when the kids come ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)**

**Go to hell**

**U dont mean that ;)**

**…**

**Fuck you**

**Not me**

**Red**

**Ya gotta stop giving me material to** **  
****work with**

 **If I actually kiss him** **  
****will you shut up?**

**maybe**

**YES OR NO**

**Ok fine yes**

**Fine. I’ll see you in a** **  
****few minutes.**

**K cya blue**

Ink waited for those few minutes, eating another pancake in the process.

**OH FUCK HE KISSED** **  
****BACK ADSFHGGKYfhLGF;GK:IJ**

**WAIT FOR REAL?!**

**YES OMFG**

**_NICE_ **

**dream’s gonna fucking kill me**

**my bro’s gonna fucking kill me**

**i’ll never see the light of day again**

**was it worth dying?**

**of course**

**So when are you gonna**

**Do not**

**Finish that**

**Ok fine**

Maybe he wasn’t going to finish it in text, but he was one hundred percent finishing it in his head. Silently, he did so, and smiled afterward. His life was complete now, and he could rest in peace.

**you know i hate you right**

**Yes, yes I do**

**...he just called me** **  
****“sweetheart”**

**Omg yes-**

**_he just kissed me on the_ ** **_  
_** **_cheek and called me_ ** **_  
_** **_“sweetheart”_ **

**OMG YES-**

**Do I have a boyfriend now** **  
****is that how this works**

 **Idfk but** **_OMG YES!!!_ **

**Well at least i won’t die single**

**:D**

**good job, Blueberry**

**And now he’s calling me** **  
****“Muffin”**

 **OH MY GOD THAT’S** **  
****_PERFECT_ **

**and my brother’s here,** **  
****fuck**

 **Run and hide. Hide in** **  
****Red’s bedroom. Hide in** **  
****his bed.**

**( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)**

**Have I ever told you** **  
****how much I hate you?**

**Yes multiple times today**

**whatever I do I’m not** **  
****doing that.**

**fine :(**

**bro slapped me but I’m** **  
****fine**

**ouch.**

**didn’t hurt that much**

**Now I’m just scared** **  
****about Dream.**

**Oh yes. That problem.**

**Would it be better to tell him** **  
****sooner or later?**

**Or not at all**

**Yes that works too**

**I mean he’s goinfjodgrrht**

**what just happened**

**Red kissed me again, I wasn’t ready-**

**Wait**

**holy shit**

**Is that Error**

Oh boy.

**Holy crap he just high fived Edge**

**error? high five? those words** **  
****do not belong in the same sentence**

 **He… said something about “good** **  
****job Edge”? While gesturing to me** **  
****and Red?**

**and he just left**

**Holy crap was he in on this**

Ink then remembered what Error had said to him earlier. _Oh my god, he was in on this._

**Idk, imma text him.**

**Ok you do that**

At that moment, Error came back.

“Welp, mission success,” he grinned. 

“Yeah, Blueberry was texting me through the entire thing,” Ink responded. “We should probably try to keep Dream from finding out if we want this ship to sail.”

“You’re worried about Dream?” Error asked in shock. “Nightmare is the one to look out for. He’ll probably throw a fit.”

“Agreement to never speak about this in front of them?”

“Agreed,” Error nodded.

Ink’s phone booped again. Still Blueberry.

**like where even are you?**

***~somewhere~***

**that’s really not an answer**

**it’s a secret ok**

**have you been kidnapped** **  
****or something?**

 **have all the jokes been a** **  
****secret cry for help?**

**no lol**

**Who kidnapped you**

**nobody**

**tell me who it is**

**I haven’t been kidnapped.**

**...i hope you aren’t lying**

**omg do you actually think** **  
****that i was kidnapped-**

**yes**

**you confuse me.**

**You confuse the multiverse.**

**true**

“Apparently I got a text from Blueberry,” Error interrupted, “saying, ‘What the fuck, why are you teaming up with Edge to get me and Red together???’ which means that he saw me in Underfell.”

“Ah. Yes, he did tell me that he saw you,” Ink confirmed. 

“What should I say?”

“Idk.”

“Did you just say “idk” out loud?”

“Yes?”

Error shook his head and sighed, smiling. “Okay, time for you to get off the phone.”

“Noooooo…” Ink whined, but Error took the phone away from Ink anyways.

‘You can have this back once you stop using internet slang out loud.”

“I’ll stop! Just give it back!” 

“Fine. Now what should I say?” Error asked, handing Ink his phone back.

“Tell him something like ‘a magician never reveals his secrets.’”

“Perfect, thank you,” Error told Ink, already tapping out the message on his phone. “And now he’s accusing me of kidnapping you.”

“Oh my GOD-”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maxils Notes:  
> BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE!  
> sparkles had to edit out two mildly suggestive jokes. bone was the punchline to the one blue stopped ink from finishing. the other was replaced with call me when the kids come.  
> also AFTERDEATH CONFIRMED  
> Also ten chapters WOO-  
> Stats:  
> Published: June 23rd, 2020  
> Chapter 10 posted: June 13th, 2020  
> Words: ~14588  
> Chapters completed: 10/?  
> Comments: 83  
> Comment Threads: 30  
> Kudos: 86  
> Bookmarks: 10  
> Hits: 798 (2 away from 800!)  
> Subscriptions: 22 (taken after passing 800)


	11. Sailing Ships ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Error and Ink decide that they don't want to stop being roommates. The Star Sanses and Dark Sanses find out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sparks' Notes:  
> hhhhh  
> Maxils Notes:  
> *dies on keyboard in 2 all nighters* *revived* yayyyyy

The next couple of days flew by uneventfully. Dream didn’t find out about Blueberry and Red, and neither did Nightmare. Error didn’t have any more panic attacks, but he still wouldn’t tell Ink why he’d crashed, so Ink had stopped asking about it. 

Error wandered aimlessly around the house. It was the last day he and Ink had agreed to live together. They had nearly completed their challenge, and honestly, it hadn’t been the worst thing in the world. In fact, Error had enjoyed watching Undernovela while eating pizza and stealing Abomination 13’s chocolate. Ink knew a lot of good pizza places, apparently.

To be honest, Ink wasn’t actually the worst roommate in the world.

“Well! Guess it’s nearly over, huh?” Ink smiled, but it was forced. Error raised an eyebrow inquisitively. Ink sighed, his smile dropping. “Alright. If I’m honest, I don’t want to… stop? Doing this, I mean. Living together.”

“...what?” Error laughed a little, then realized that Ink wasn’t joking. “Oh, you’re… serious…”

Ink laughed nervously. “Ahaha, yeah… I don’t know, it was just an idea-”

“No, you know what?” Error interrupted with a smile. “You aren’t that bad of a roommate. We could… keep going for a while. I guess.”

Ink blinked. “You’re serious?”

“Yes, Squid, I’m serious.”

Ink’s eyelights changed to stars, and the smile on his face doubled in size. “Can I hug you?” he asked excitedly.

“Uhh…” Error hesitated, knowing what would happen if he said yes, then laughed gently. “Sure.” Ink immediately proceeded to tackle hug Error, just as the glitch had predicted. Error tensed up slightly from the touch, but quickly relaxed. “Wow, you really like hugging me.”

Ink made a small noise that sounded like “marshmallows.”

Error snorted. “Alright then.” 

Ink broke apart from Error, a very silly grin on his face. “So you’re okay with me touching you now?”

“Eh, you still have to ask. And it’s only because-” he took a deep breath- “I… trust you.” Error quickly pushed Ink away, the shorter throwing up mid-push. “I also know you well.”

“...Good call,” Ink nodded.

“You know you have to clean that up now, right?” Error asked, gesturing at the puddle of paint now on the floor.

“Ah. Yes. I’ll be right back.” Ink went and found the cleaning supplies that he used at least every other day for this exact purpose. Once he was done cleaning, he was about to go back to his room, but Error held up a hand.

“Wait, wait. Don’t we have to change the rules a bit? Of living together, I mean?”

“Um. What were the specified rules, again? I remember no telling anyone that we specifically are roommates…”

“There was also something about not doing our jobs. I’m sure you can agree with me that it’d look a bit suspicious to everyone else if we keep that up.”

Ink considered this for a moment. “You’re right,” he eventually sighed. “If we don’t keep doing our jobs, people  _ will _ get suspicious.”

“Okay. So, what I’m saying is, we start doing our jobs again, but we don’t fight in the house. The minute we’re both outside, it’s business as usual.”

“Alright,” Ink agreed. “Anything else?”

“My keep your shit in your area rule and your no looking at your sketchbook rule.”

“Ah yes. Those,” Ink nodded. “Keep both.”

“Alright, I think you can go to your room now.”

“Cool.” Ink nodded, then ran up the stairs two at a time. There wasn’t any particular reason, he just felt like it. On the last stair, though, he tripped, but quickly got back up as though nothing had happened. He checked his scarf to see if there was anything he was meant to be doing. Nothing that he could read, at least, so probably nothing.

A couple of minutes later, he took out his phone to see about five texts from Dream telling him that he was late for yet another meeting.

“Oh boy,” he said. The texts didn’t look angry, only informing him of the situation, but Ink knew that Dream only ever texted when he needed to get a point across,  _ fast _ . That included when he was angry. “Guess I’d better get over there, ahaha…”

After quickly calling to Error that he was leaving, he made a paint portal with Broomie and jumped through.

Dream tapped his foot impatiently, crossing his arms as Ink finally emerged from a portal.

“Ah, you’re finally here, Ink- wait, why is your arm bleeding?”

“What do you mean?” Ink asked, before looking down at his arm to see ink bleeding through his sleeve. “Oh. That.” 

“WHY IS YOUR ARM BLEEDING,” Blueberry asked, obviously panicking.

“Oh, yeah, my kidnapper did that,” Ink joked, glancing at Blue. However, nobody picked up on the glance.

“Excuse me, what?” Dream asked.

“What he said,” Cross added, glaring at Ink with concern.

“I knew it, I fucking knew it,” Blueberry groaned, facepalming. “Alright. You’re going to take us where you’ve been for the past week.  _ No questions. _ ”

_ Fffffuck, _ Ink internally panicked. “Uh, can I not?”

“We’ll find it on our own. Ink, come on,” Dream responded concernedly. “Please tell us where you’ve been.”

“I was  _ joking _ , guys, I haven’t been kidnapped.”

“Ink.” Blueberry looked up at him. “Just… please. If you haven’t been kidnapped, then tell us where you’ve  _ been. _ ”

“I’ve been with my roommate!” Ink answered, and for all of two seconds, the room was silent.

“You don’t have a roommate!” Cross nearly shouted.

“Yes I do! I’ve had a roommate for this entire week.”

“Ink, I’m sorry, but I really doubt that.” Dream grabbed Ink’s hand. “Please. I want you to be safe. If you have a roommate, then take us to the place you’ve been living in with them.”

“H-he’s shy!” Ink was aware of how much he sounded like he was lying, but it really was the best he could do.

“ _ Take us there. _ ” Blueberry’s eyes were fierce, and he didn’t look like he was going to back down.

“Fine. Come on,” Ink relented, creating a portal back to the secret spot in Outertale.

“Oh, the meeting’s over already-” Error cut himself off, realizing that Ink had brought the rest of the Star Sanses. “ _ What are they doing here, _ ” he hissed.

“I was joking that I’d been kidnapped, and they took it seriously, and they demanded that I show them where I’d been the past week.” Ink paused for a moment to fiddle with his scarf. “They’d have probably killed me if I didn’t.”

“Goddammit,” Error cursed. “Ugh. Fine. Hello, I’m Ink’s roommate.”

“You live with your mortal enemy?” Cross asked incredulously.

“Yeah, so?” Error and Ink responded at the exact same time.

Blueberry took a deep breath. “Ink.  _ He kidnapped me. _ I almost went insane. And you’re acting like living with him is NORMAL?” He stared at Ink, waiting for a response.

“Yeah, is it not or something?” Ink asked. What was wrong with living with Error?

“...you amaze me with your stupidity sometimes. Do you not understand that he’s trying to destroy the multiverse?”

“Yeah, but we’re friends,” Ink countered. Error breathed in sharply, surprised, but he didn’t comment.

“OH MY GOD SHUT UP INK.”

Dream just stood there, completely unable to process what he was hearing, seeing and sensing from the others’ emotions. As far as he could tell (Error being the only one of the roommates whose emotions he could actually sense), Error was completely calm about the entire thing.

“Well, guess I’d better go to  _ my _ meeting now. Goodbye, you weirdos.” Error walked through a glitchy portal.

“Where. Were. You,” Nightmare asked icily. The others all glared at Error, who hadn’t even realized he was late.

“Uh. Talking with my roommate?” Error responded.

“Yeah, I’d kinda like to know who exactly your  _ roommate _ is,” Nightmare said in a tone that made it very clear that it wasn’t a request. Error flinched as Nightmare’s cold gaze fell onto him. Could he be blamed for almost dying at the tentacles of the goop-covered skeleton, though?

“I… uh…”

“Name, please,” Nightmare snapped.

“Fuck it. The Star Shits already found out, so Ink. Ink is my roommate.”

Nearly everyone in the room did a double take. Nightmare even forgot to add the iciness to his voice.

“...Ink?” he asked, completely taken by surprise.

“Yep. We made a stupid deal, and apparently, he’s not such a bad roommate,” Error explained.

“Well,” the goopy skeleton said, “not my place to meddle.”

“...bitch, that’s gay,” Dust put in from across the room.

“Bitch, that’s homophobic,” Error shot back without missing a beat.

“We’re Sanses, we’re all gay. Have you not noticed yet?” Nightmare commented. Killer nodded, hugging Nightmare.

“Yeah,” Error replied, “but I don’t like him like that. We’re just friends.”  _ That… felt nice. _

“Papy says you’re lying,” Dust responded.

“ _ Papy _ is a figment of your imagination.” Error glared at Dust.

Dust paused for a moment, then smirked. “He’s more real than your eyesight.”

“OHHHHH!” Horror howled.

“You guys are really giving me a high, keep it up,” Nightmare smiled from his throne, basking in the negativity that the group was generating. “Also, Red, you’re awfully quiet. I would have expected you to have spoken by now.”

Red sat there, sweating. What was he supposed to say? He couldn’t tell Nightmare about Blueberry. He’d… probably be punished in some way. He wasn’t sure.

Nightmare picked up a glass of wine that he hadn’t finished earlier. “I heard a rumor, Red,” he said lazily. “Something about you and Blueberry?”

“Fuck.” Red cursed under his breath. Nightmare could tell if he lied. “Uh… yeah. It’s-” He hesitated. “It’s true. We’re… uh…”

“Dating. Same story, different people under slightly different circumstances.” Nightmare rolled his eyelight. “I honestly couldn’t care less, Red. Date who you want.”

“WOO! Cherryberry has sailed!” Error cheered. That was one problem solved.

Nightmare glanced around the room. “That goes for the rest of you as well. If there’s anyone you’d like to tell me about…?”

Horror raised a hand. “Uh, we’re not dating, but… I kinda… have a crush on Lust?”

“...you have strange tastes, but I’m not going to question it,” Nightmare sighed. “Anyone else? No? Okay then.”

“Meeting dismissed? Can I go now?” Error asked.

Nightmare stared at him for a second. “Sure. Whatever. You all can go,” he answered.

Error nodded and left. That had been a surprising turn of events.

**h0ey blueberry**

**How did you even get a 0 in that**

**Guess what**

**what**

**Nightmare’s totally chill w/ u x red**

**That’s… good to hear, I suppose?**

**“w/ u x red” looks like some weird** **  
** **sentence from another language**

**¯\\_(ツ)_/¯**

**how’d you even find that so fast**

**Ink took a whole ~2 mins to find ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)**

**why’d he need it ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)**

**you are both as annoying as each other**

**( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sparks' Notes:  
> ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
> Maxils Notes:  
> ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
> welp now that they've solved the nightmare problem, they just need to figure out how to break the news to dream.  
> ...  
> dream will be very pissed.  
> also dust is just mad that he doesn't get shipped with anyone XD


	12. Aren't Paintbrushes Inanimate Objects?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ink reveals why he doesn't want to show Error his art. Error almost admits that the AUs are amazing. Broomie moves on its own. Error doesn't know how having friends works.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maxils Notes:  
> ...Holy shit, it's been over a month.  
> Sparks' Notes:  
> ...wow

One of the things Ink and Error had in common but never acknowledged was that both did a form of creation. Ink mostly drew and painted, but did many kinds of art. Error would never admit it, but he made puppets all the time.

He was messing with some of those puppets, just doing his own thing, when he realized something.

He had never heard Ink talk about his art to anyone.

From all the time he’d spent with the artist, he’d never heard one word about Ink’s art. Every time Error tried asking about it, Ink changed the subject. He’d asked Blueberry, and sure enough, the Swap skeleton had also never heard Ink talk about it.

Frankly, Error was curious as to what the squid always drew that he never showed anyone.

“So, Squid,” Error began, “you never show anyone what you’re drawing.”

Ink’s attention was instantly grabbed, and he turned his head to Error. What was the glitch getting at?

“So, why don’t you show anyone?”

Ink glared at him with an expression of offense. “Why does it matter?”

“Jeez, I’m just curious,” Error defended himself. “Why don’t you show people your art?”

“I don’t need to tell you anything.”

Error nodded, but decided to continue pressing. “Okay, so, what are you drawing?”

Ink looked Error dead in the eyes before returning his gaze to the paper. “Nunya.”

The glitch snickered, knowing exactly how a gullible idiot would respond. Oh, but he was no gullible idiot. “Is it better than updog?”

“Only if you know Joe.”

“I heard Joe got ligma.”

“Okay, what are you getting at?”

“So why don’t you show me the nunya you’re drawing?”

“Because… uh…” Ink seemed to be searching for what to say next, but seemed to be backed into a corner. He sighed, relenting. “If I show my art to people, I just _know_ they’re gonna hate it.”

“...that’s it?”

“Yes?”

Error snorted in disbelief. “Ink, if your art is terrible, then how’d you heal me up so well with your _paintbrush_? Some days, I forget that you did it at all. _That’s_ how good it looks.”

“...” Ink fidgeted with his hands, not knowing how to respond.

“Squid. Seriously.” Error reluctantly put his hands on Ink’s shoulders, having decided that physical contact would be required to get the point across. “Are you stupid? Wait, don’t answer that, I know the answer already.” He took his hands off of Ink to reposition Sans Classic so he was upright.

“Oh, come _on_ ,” Ink groaned.

“But really. How could you create these amazing-” Error stopped himself before he could continue. “How could you create AUs without being a good artist?”

“I heard that,” Ink grinned excitedly, his eyelights changing to stars.

Error stared at Ink coldly. “Y̸̪̼͑õ̶͕͚u̷̙̔ ̶̪̳̲̈́h̵̛͖̜̱͊̍ẽ̴̬̜̆͐a̸͉̬͊̓̈́r̶̼̿̆̈́d̷̨̦͆ ̷̯̉n̶̰̱̋͂̊ó̴̭̘̜̾̐t̶̠̓̑͑h̴͈̗͖͆̓̅ỉ̸̼̀͗n̸͇͕͒g̵̦͉̉.̷͕̖͒”

“Okay, for the sake of getting anywhere in this conversation, let’s pretend that I actually heard nothing and you didn’t almost call the AUs amazing.”

“...whatever.”

“Anyways, it looks like Sans Classic’s made a friend.”

Error was confused as to what Ink meant, so he put on his glasses to see Sans Classic leaning on Ink’s paintbrush.

“...huh. How’d it get there?”

Ink thought for a moment, before shrugging. “Beats me.”

Broomie proceeded to shift slightly in the direction of Sans Classic.

“What is _happening_?” Error asked, slightly freaked out. How exactly the fuck did Broomie move on its own? 

Ink shrugged, as though it was a normal occurrence. “Broomie does that sometimes.”

“Your _paintbrush_ moves on its own and you don’t find that even a little creepy?”

“Now that you mention it, it is a little strange.” Ink regarded the paintbrush apprehensively. “More than a little strange.”

“Yeah…” Error stared at Broomie. There was something that he didn’t like about it.

“Anyway. What were we talking about?” Ink asked, picking up his sketchbook and pencil.

“Why you won’t show anyone your drawings,” Error reminded his forgetful roommate.

“Oh, yeah. That.” Ink paused for a moment to look down at his sketchbook. He seemed to think for a moment, before sighing and looking back up at Error. “I… guess I could show you.”

Error didn’t do anything for a moment. “If you want to.”

Ink slowly pushed the sketchbook towards Error, before running into the kitchen.

Error snorted at the artist’s skittishness, then picked up the sketchbook, opening it to a random page.

“...It’s a sketch of Outertale…” he mused. Not only that, but it was actually incredibly accurate. A few stars were off, but overall, it almost looked like the real thing. Plus, he could hardly blame Ink for forgetting the exact positions of some stars - there were a lot of them. He then realized that Ink had probably just gone out of the house and drawn what he saw, but that didn’t change just how accurate the sketch was. “HEY, SQUID! COME BACK!” Error shouted.

“Yes…?” Ink replied nervously, walking back into the living room.

“I looked at one of your sketches.”

“...A-and?”

“I couldn’t draw Outertale so accurately myself, even though I’ve memorized the position and movement of every star in the AU. Why exactly were you so nervous?”

Ink blinked in surprise. “Uh. I… I’m not sure?” He scratched the back of his head. “You really think it’s good?”

“Well, yeah.” Error had no reason to lie to Ink. After all, they were friends, weren’t they? And weren’t friends supposed to be honest with each other or something? He didn’t have many friends. He wasn’t entirely sure how it worked. Yeah, there was also Blueberry, technically, but as far as friends went, Error _definitely_ didn’t have as many as most people.

“Well, thanks, I guess?” Ink replied.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. On a completely random and unrelated note, how does having friends work?”

Ink stared at Error for a moment. “...what do you mean?”

“I meant what I said, Squid. How does having friends work?” the glitch repeated.

Ink considered for a moment. “I think it’s just… having a person who you enjoy being around. And also teasing them.”

“Do we count as friends, then? Actually, we probably do. How _long_ have we counted as friends?”

“I… don’t know,” Ink shrugged. He couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment where they’d first counted as friends, or even the day, really.

“Well, hey, isn’t it that we do that matters?”

Ink smiled gladly. “You’re right."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maxils Notes:  
> Broomie and Classic Puppet are now the best friends ever.  
> Sparks' Notes:  
> mmhm best friend thats all


	13. Pspspspsps Come Here Kitty Kitty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While battling, Ink finds out a secret about Error. That secret produces a conversation that ends in them getting a cat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sparks' Notes:  
>  _:)_  
>  Maxils Notes:  
> *aggressive pspspsing*

“Hey Squid,” Error announced through the door of Ink’s room, “I’m going out to work now!” Immediately after breakfast, Ink had gone up to his room for whatever reason. Sleep, art, whatever, Error had no idea.

He waited a full minute without any response.

“Mmkay, Honey, good luck!” Ink teased finally.

“Pff- _Honey_?!”

Ink stuck his head out of his room’s door. “Oh, silly me. I forgot! We aren’t married yet!” He did an exaggerated wink, before closing the door.

“PFFFF- Oh my god Squid-” Occasionally, they (mostly Ink) made jokes that they were in a relationship. Of course, they weren’t _actually_ dating. They were just friends.

Ink giggled, opening his door again. “No, but really, good luck. I guess. Eh, just don’t die.”

“That’ll be up to you, Ink,” Error reminded him.

Ink considered that for a moment. “I suppose you’re right. Although, I’m sure there are some other people who could kill you.”

That statement made Error laugh hard. “Maybe there are, but most of them are too scared to try.”

“Because you’ll destroy them.”

“...yeah, I guess.”

“Y’know, why-”

Error held up a hand to stop Ink. “NOPE. We are _not_ getting into a philosophical discussion as I’m about to go to work.”

“Okay then,” Ink shrugged, before grinning. “Don’t forget, Love, I made you lunch!”

Error let out a wheeze. “Ink, oh my _stars_ -”

“What, Babe?” Ink winked again.

“Okay, I’m going now,” Error chuckled as he opened up a portal.

“‘Kay! See ya later.”

Error stepped through the portal and began destroying, and sure enough, Ink appeared a couple minutes later.

“You… wasted _no_ time, huh, Glitchy?” Ink asked, surveying the already half-ruined AU.

Error shrugged. “Why would I?”

“Not sure. Anyway, are we going to fight, or…?”

Error launched a blaster at Ink, who narrowly dodged the glitchy beam. “Not bad, Squid.”

“If you don’t think that’s bad, get a load of this!” Ink painted the ground, and after a moment, inky black bones shot out from where Ink had painted. Error had seen that trick before, though, and managed to avoid the bones deftly. However, what he didn’t expect was the second wave of bones coming from a different direction. Most of them he avoided, others stopped and broken with his strings, but a couple did get through his defenses.

Error _hissed._ Like a cat. A skeletal, bipedal, five-tongued, glitchy cat, but a cat nonetheless.

“Wait. What?” Ink questioned flatly. He paused his attacks and stared at Error.

Error froze. “...oh, come _on._ ” He sighed. “Well. Uh, sometimes, I hiss like a cat. I may or may not also… purr and meow…”

“Oh my GOD.” Ink’s eyelights changed to stars. “HOW HAVE I NEVER HEARD YOUR CAT NOISES.”

“Š̵̨͙̽̉̎̌͐Ḫ̸͔̠͓̳̅Ȗ̷̟͂͘T̷̠̫̞̝̲̍͗̂͒ ̷̟̽͘U̷̡̢͎̣̹͚̥͗͗̆͋͘͠P̵̛͇̙͉̾̀̍̎!̶̖͇̥͕̾̔͝͠!̷̹̋̆̂!̷̻͓̞̻̠̋̀̅͗͋͜”

“NO. NEVER. YOU ARE A CAT NOW.” Ink paused, then gasped. “WHAT IF I GAVE YOU CAT EARS-”

“ _N̵̫̻̼̔͊͝Ơ̵̦!̸̜̗̌͆͂̇͘!̷̖̞̝̦̻͑͌͆̈͂̄̕͜!̴͉̬̲͋͐̈́̊̔͘!̸̰̯̦̲̈!̶̡̧̖̦̰͎̝̊̑͆!̸͔͔̠̠̬̺̟̖͖̂_ ” Error screeched, grabbing Ink’s leg in his trademark blue strings and throwing him to the side. Fortunately, Ink didn’t hit anything upon landing.

“I’m never going to let you forget this,” Ink grinned as he stood back up.

“I _hate_ you _._ ”

“You and I both know that that’s not true,” Ink replied, painting several more bones and an inky blaster.

“Shut _up_ ,” Error groaned. He summoned bones and a blaster of his own, and all at once, all of the attacks were fired. Neither skeleton was hit by any of the attacks, though. “Heh,” Error chuckled. “You’ve been training, Squid!”

“Actually, I haven’t, but thank you!” Ink replied, getting closer to Error and attempting to hit him with Broomy. “You must’ve been training, though, Glitchy.”

Error jumped out of the way of the attack, and the artist stumbled, but caught himself before falling face first. Error used this opportunity to throw Ink back with his strings. “Okay, fine, yes.” He _did_ train, on his own time. When he wasn’t knitting, sleeping, watching Undernovela, destroying AUs, or chilling with Ink, he was usually training. He liked to _do_ things with his time - productive things.

“Wow, you’re THAT scared of me?” Ink asked, using Broomie to stop himself from crashing too hard into a tree.

“Shut up.” Error summoned some bones to launch at Ink, but only one of them actually hit.

“...should I order pizza for dinner?” Ink asked, painting ropes around Error’s wrists.

“Yeah, that’d be nice,” Error agreed as he struggled against the ropes. Strings were surprisingly hard to get out of, ropes included. Error kicked Ink away and fired a bone at the ropes, cutting them off of his wrists.

“Oof!” the artist grunted. After finding his balance again, he shrugged. “Well, honestly, fighting is a little pointless right now.”

Error stopped his attacks. “Yeah, you’re right,” he agreed. “Wanna go home?”

“Sure, Honey.”

“Oh my- STOP.” Yeah, Ink was definitely starting to overdo it at this point.

“Kitty cat,” Ink teased.

“No.”

“Can I hug you?”

The glitch was slightly taken aback by the abrupt subject change, as well as by what the subject was changed to. “...what? Why?”

Ink tugged at his scarf. “Because I want to.”

The very confused inhabitants of the AU - the ones that Error didn’t initially dust, anyways - decided to go somewhere else.

“You just want a random hug?” Error inquired.

“Yep. Wait…” Ink grinned mischievously. “Pspspspsps. Heeere kitty kitty.”

Error’s eye twitched. “Excuse me?”

“Pspspspspspspsps,” Ink continued, the most stupid grin on his face. “Come heeeeeeeeere, kitty kitty~”

“I- _ugh_.” Error stomped over to the artist. “What do you even want.”

“Oh my god, I did it,” Ink smiled ecstatically. “Can I hug you now? Pleeeeease!”

“FINE,” Error groaned. Ink smiled and gently wrapped his arms around the glitch. Error tensed for a moment, before relaxing and making a soft sound, almost like…

“Purring. Oh my god, you’re _purring_.” Ink stifled a laugh.

“Shut up,” Error mumbled. However, he continued purring, much to Ink’s amusement.

“Okay, fine,” Ink agreed. “I won’t tell anyone that you’re secretly a cat.”

“That is _not_ what’s happening here.”

“Then what _is_ happening?”

“I’m purring. Doesn’t mean I’m a cat.”

“But you told me yourself that you meow and hiss as well,” Ink pointed out.

“You actually remember that?”

“Yes. I remember _some_ things, kitty- oh, sorry, Error.” Ink grinned. Error wasn’t sure whether that was a genuine slip-up or Ink doing it on purpose. Knowing Ink, probably on purpose.

Still purring, he replied, “Whatever.”

Suddenly, Ink gained a look in his eyelights. It was the same look he got whenever he got an idea. “Oh my god Error you know what we should do?”

 _Oh god…_ “No I do not, what should we do?” Oh, God, he was going to regret this later, wasn’t he?

“We should get a cat!”

“...what?”

“We should get a cat,” Ink repeated, staring directly into Error’s eyes.

“Maybe…” Error considered it for a moment. “You just want to tease me for acting like it, though, don’t you?”

“No, I’m saying we should actually get a cat.”

Error thought for another moment. “Well. Give me a bit to decide, okay?” He was actually considering the proposition. Cats weren’t too loud, or obnoxious, and they didn’t require a lot of exercise. That was a bonus, not to mention that they were cute.

“Thank you, Error,” Ink breathed excitedly, hugging the glitch tighter.

“Hey!” Error objected, but allowed Ink to continue hugging him. “Watch it, Squid!”

In the end, Error slept on it, and they decided that they were, in fact, going to adopt a cat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sparks' Notes:  
> Look, I just love the idea of Ink teasing Error by pretending they're together, okay?  
> Maxils Notes:  
> [owo what's this? an atwr ask blog? that maxils didn't remember to link last chapter?!](https://ask-atwr.tumblr.com/) no i actually forgot to link it last chapter. also yes error is very much so a cat.  
> also you can ask questions to ANY character from atwr on the blog  
> also oh look it's the set of dialogue that started it all

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [In Which Broomie Can Reproduce](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27277459) by [DarkstarWolf53](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkstarWolf53/pseuds/DarkstarWolf53)
  * [Everybody Hates Fresh (Fic Request)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27570640) by [DarkstarWolf53](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkstarWolf53/pseuds/DarkstarWolf53)




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